Dorothy's Whirlwind to Oz

That's us.  Disconnected and tossed around

The energies feel like a whirlwind.  Nobody knows where we are going.  We simply don't know what to do with ourselves. 

We don't know what to prepare for.  We try stuff, and then rapidly it fizzles.  Starting new projects is useless, energies change so fast. Everything seems to break down.  We simply can't get ahead, nothing is working.

This is bringing up a lot of stuff.  There is so much to feel.

The perfect state

"As you go about your life, don't give 100 percent of your attention to the external world and your mind. Keep some within."  (Oneness with all life) Eckhart Tolle Weekly Present Moment Reminder.

I find that I need to keep all my attention on my internal world, my breathing and my body to find out what's going on with me, always focusing on me first.  Wholeness is not about pleasing others.  

There is no greater power than YOU when you are whole.

The world will drown you with their illusions, their victimhood, neediness, guilt, obligations and survival issues.  I can participate in their illusions or I can walk away.

Whatever shows up, what does it bring out in me?  Instead of acting on it, feel it, and that will release the vibrational attachments, the terror that lives inside.  

The extraction of fear.  Everything hidden will surface.  Just when I get comfortable on my ledge over the abyss the universe sends me deeper.  But I only get capsized for a moment and than its over.  The moment I felt it its done with.  Feel everything, its that simple.   

The body is the map.  The mind is confused and fears change.  You can't know it, you can only be it.  For the aware person survival is not an issue.  Only this moment is real.  Be fully in it.

Always breathe, have no agenda.


Breathing is very important when speaking, it brings you into the present moment.  Breathing is the shift from thinking to awareness.  Allowing this moment to be as it is will take you out of thought and end your story.  Whatever state I am in is perfect.  I don't have to achieve anything in particular.

Breathe and Be.  Nothing else is required but to accept what is here now.  Whatever you accept you go beyond, that's the paradox and the miracle.  If you fight it you are stuck with it.

Most meditation is manipulation because you want to achieve a particular state.  The mind always has an idea of how things should be.  The perfect state is the acceptance of now.  It takes away the guesswork.  The present moment is the perfect moment. 

Spinning down the rabbit hole

I really hate the feeling of death.  Everything gets washed away, which is fine, but until it gets replaced with something new, the wasteland in between is horrible.

The short bursts of bliss make me belief I have arrived,when in fact its just temporary, just a little glimpse of reality to keep me going.

Nobody has any answers.  Any predictions are just speculations.  We are walking around dizzy from all the spinning.  Spinning down the rabbit hole.  There better be a wonderland at the bottom.

I have arrived, now what?

My daughter graduated last weekend.  There were only her, her brother and myself.  No one of lower vibration was present because they would have brought their own shit along with their little minds needing to be in charge.  The day fell into place harmoniously.  Once the mind steps in its all over.

She didn't invite her dad.  There is so much obligation with him and no freedom.  He belongs to the old, abusive patriarchy.  No matter how much the kids do for him it is never enough because his matrix mind only sees lack and wants his wounded inner child taken care of.  Its not the kids responsibility to fulfill their parents.  

When people do something for someone else there are always strings attached, an ulterior motive they aren't even aware of, mostly to make themselves look good.   

People are mainly in victim mode causing ALL their suffering.  They are asleep and abusive, always wanting something, never satisfied.  

It takes tremendous stamina to look at yourself and letting go of energetic imprints that sabotage everything you want because you have to go against the very strong current of the collective.  When you are not observing you are meddling.  Awareness changes everything.

I live in a new world now.  Most my dysfunctions have been taken care off and therefore I attract different experiences.   My mind can't even figure out how to proceed from here, but my body will show me because the body knows everything.

Everything is vibration, which is covered up by the mind.  When the mind steps aside you can feel life.  The higher you vibrate the less mind there is.

Wipeout

The gap between yesterday and today is huge.  Everything behind me dropped off.  I am walking on new ground.  Spelling has taken on a world of its own.  My mind can't go anywhere anymore.  It doesn't want to think.  It just wants to be still.

I have no concept of anything.   I feel like a little kid in a new world who just wants to play.

Everybody creates their own world

Just yesterday for a split moment I questioned my sanity, survival issues crept up.  The fear and terror I felt. Its one of those moments when I thought 'when will this ever end.'  And then I decided I wasn't going to listen to my mind anymore.  The mind will always have its bleak commentary and I am shutting it off.  No More of this nonsense.   

I have been waiting for my mind to transcend, but that doesn't seem to happen.  I have to make the conscious choice and not listen to it ever again.  And with that I won't let it take me down its dark corridors.  I will lure it out into the light. 

I have been living in darkness on my way out of the matrix for almost 2 decades and now I am in a new internal landscape.  My journey has just began.   There is a tree that develops its roots for 8 years and than suddenly grows exponentially. And that's what's happening with me.  I am coming to life.  When I was under ground I didn't see anything and now as I am emerging I see EVERYTHING.

It's imperative not to have an agenda.  Any agenda puts me right back into the old.  The new is created out of nothingness, stillness.

I manifested free lunch the other day and thought:  'Why don't I do this more often.'  The answer came immediately:  'Because of the ego.'  I am not quite out of the woods with my ego.  If I would manifest things more often it could get to my head.

I kept waiting for big changes in my external landscape, but it didn't happen.  I am still around the same people.  Only by now they seem to be fed up with my lifestyle, wanting me to get a job.  What else can you expect coming from their dysfunctional matrix minds.  I brush it off and laugh. 

I bought eggs from a local farmer.  He asked if I work.  I said 'No.'  He said: 'Some people have got it made.'  I thought:  'Its not my fault when your mind is beating the shit out of you.'  Do you know how alien it feels being around these people?  They are so persistent in their illusions and insist I join them.  That's not going to happen.

Observation creates the entire universe.  Atoms are spread out all over the place until a conscious observer looks at it.  There is no locality, there are no objects, there are only relationships.  Scientists confirm that reality is an illusion.  Illusions come from within the mind.  We cannot grasp that which is beyond with our limited perception.  The only realities we know are the ones our brain manufactures.  The brain receives millions of signals and we organize them and project them outside ourselves and call it reality.

Tarot Reading

My Tarot reading (abbreviated): 

#65.  This here-now is forgotten when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.  When the achieving mind arises, you lose contact with the paradise you are in.

#69.  You can be in the present only if you are not ambitious.  All ambition leads you into the future.

#7.  Mind can never be intelligent.  Only no-mind is intelligent.  Only no-mind is original and radical.

#6.  Our partner functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.  Compassion is the highest phenomenon.  Compassion is above love.

#78.  Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.

Do your own free Osho Tarot Reading here.

When Illusions fall away

And so . . . .

a big chunk of illusion fell away. The familiar was gone.  I felt lost and stupid.  Didn't know where to run to nor hide.  That was my first reaction.  It gave way to aching beauty.  My consciousness had expanded to allow more light and life.

I am suddenly not operating on only one cylinder.  I am operating on millions of cylinders.

What I have noticed is that when the universe takes me to those places where I have to let go of something and it feels like death, the universe shakes it up a bit so that I won't go over board.  The upside shows up so that I won't wallow in the downside because the mind has a way of making things look really bleak.

The bitter planet

Self love

For the past 2 years I have been living with a lot of people.  The one thing that stands out is that they are all bitter.  They are blaming others for their horrible lives, and they are working so hard to change THEM.

True happiness comes from a connection inside yourself that you can share with another not make another responsible for.  

The mind knows only lack, and that's what people are so attached to, their minds. 

Wanting something from another is abuse.  

If I thought that my happiness and success in life depended on another person or things I would quit right now.  I am not at the beg and call of others.

I already have everything.  I am done.  The struggle is over.  I can go now and play.  Because everything else is illusion. 

The road to wholeness is hell, but once you are there, its beautiful.

It's been a long journey.  I need rest.

When the abyss becomes your friend

I hurled myself into the abyss and discovered its my friend.  This is the alchemical gold.  The only way to deal with the abyss is to relax into it.  Trying to change it is futile.  I can't get out of it.

When the bombs go off I've already been prepared for it.  My son doesn't have a job to go back to. I already knew that before we moved here.  His company didn't get the contract to continue with the expansion.  Lenoir is a small town and there are no jobs, but here we are, the perfect place, the perfect time.

The truth lies within

Change the Outcome

The blind journey

The mind will keep you busy attending to illusion.  We are getting out of our minds into our bodies because the body knows everything.  Leaving the matrix is the most hellish journey of all.  Its a journey in the dark where you have no idea where you are going.

There are three stages I noticed to descending into our bodies.

Stage one:  You get a glimpse of reality which will keep you going for a while.

Stage two:  You plummet into the abyss to release everything that's in the way for that reality to manifest.  This stage can be quite terrifying. 

Stage three:  The Void.  Emptiness.  Neutrality.  Spaciousness.  Where nothing is happening so that the new can be born out of stillness from the emptiness where nothing is tainted with illusion.

Then the cycle repeats itself until there is less and less illusion.  

You can't drop illusion, it has to drop you; and that happens through experiences and awareness.

Because the mind only knows illusion you will also encounter mirages to trick the mind.  Something the mind thinks is going to happen and by the time you get there you neither need it nor want it. 

 

The power of money is probably the biggest illusion there is.  For me to let go of that illusion and live without income required many mirages or I would have dropped dead from fright.

New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.  ~Lao Tzu

The Net

You can't step into the same river twice.  Even so we are back in our old city, nothing is the same.  All the things I held onto are gone.  Who are you when everything disappears, your personality, your believes.  There is a net that catches you, and that net has been woven from previous experiences.  Now your mind has something to fall back on.  It now knows that you will survive even so there is no physical evidence of it.

If you ask people for advice they will give you their fears, their limits.  They only know their conditioning, whats safe for them.  You have to step out of their illusions and find your own Self.  We are meant to live big.

Illusion requires maintenance.  The more illusion you have the harder you work to keep it going.  You have to attend to everything.  You are trying to make something fit that's already gone.  Nothing fits because illusion is too big.  You have to get smaller.  How present are you when you walk across the room, when you open the door?  That's how small you have to get or you are nowhere to be found. 

Keeping the old alive, the same old stories people tell themselves over and over, that's a lot of baggage (garbage) to carry.  No carrying required, only dropping.  

Losing the identification with form

I am over the moon.  So much space opened up for me.  I no longer identify myself with form, therefore I am fearless.  I am abundance.  I AM.   

AND 

I function in the world of form.  In fact, its my playground. 

Moving to Lenoir was super easy.  Everything fell into place.  No drama on my part.  

There is only one upset:  The loss of the present.

I breathe and leave the rest up to the universe.  I resist nothing.

I spent the day sitting in the recliner, doing only what I wanted to do.  The mind would have me running around, putting everything into place the way it used to be.

The universe is brand new zillions of times each moment, but people put their lives together the same way it was the moment before so that they don't ever feel death nor the downside.  

I looked at the sky and laughed.

Who I am can't be explained.

I have never known so much freedom.

Exercise to interrupt repetitious thinking:  The activity you perform most, whenever you do that activity, touch your crotch.  That  should lighten you up.  For instance, every time you open a door, mentally touch your crotch.

AND

Never forget to breathe.

The less dense mind

 "When the mind loses its density, you become translucent, like the flower. Spirit – the formless – shines through you into the world.” ~Eckhart Tolle

We are moving back to Lenoir next weekend to a new place.  I go empty handed into the unknown.  The world of form will arrange itself around me.  I am not going after form using my patterns, i.e. making a to-do list or planning this out in my head.  I am going about this with no-mind. 

My attention has shifted from the outer world to my inner body awareness.  There is so much to feel.  

I love my new relationship with my son.  It's so unpatterned.  I have no agenda and therefore feel the aliveness in everything, the upside and the downside.

Desires arise in the mind.  When you don't act on your desires they will go away.  Breathing gets you out of your mind.

The mind can't be trusted

Before you judge others or consider any absolute truth . . . 

“Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you.” The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.” –Sergio Toporek

http://lunarscience.nasa.gov/articles/beware-of-images/

220 km = 130 miles/sec or 7800 miles/hr

Silence

Ignorance and Intelligence

The ground appears under my feet the moment I set foot on it, not a moment before.  I have no direction.  The event has not been selected yet.  Therefore I can't have an agenda.  I have to wait for what shows up naturally.

The mind looks at life through the macro, but life is happening in the micro.  The mind can't put this together.  It has to fall into place by itself, effortlessly.

There is a lot to feel.

When there is anxiety there are two things to consider.  What's really happening and what I make up about what's really happening.

When you feel fear it probably isn't fear.  It's the fear of fear.  When you live with content, the stories in your head, you fear fear, which paralyzes you.  The response to that is terror.  When you live without content you feel raw fear, when observed it frees you.  It cycles through your energy field for a moment and than it's gone.

When you compare yourself to others you probably won't measure up and the cycle of suffering has begone.  You want to emulate them, thus ignoring yourself. 

Ignoring yourself is the only ignorance there is.  ~Osho.

 Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.  ~Stephen Hawking.

Paradox

Paradox

My son had his last surgery yesterday.  He now has 3 titanium plates and 12 titanium screws in his head holding his frontal skull bones together at the cost of $800 per screw.  He says he has a better reception with his phone.

With that out of the way we can now move forward.  There was a sudden shift in energy and I felt lost.  My walls of illusion came crashing down.  There doesn't seem to be any ground for me to step on.  I have to linger in this space of nothingness until I have processed all the uncomfortable and unfamiliar energies.  My mind doesn't comprehend any of this.   Therefore I let my body carry what my mind can't.  The body always knows what to do.  Its a time of  emptying out and letting go.