My mind wants to play it safe. That ship has sailed.
Physically nothing has changed, if anything, things have gotten tighter. I deal with old things in a new way. I don't have the energy to keep up with the old ways. That's why lots of things were dropped. I didn't drop them, they dropped me and now I can't pick them back up again, they are gone forever. I have the feeling lots more has to go, being stripped bare so that I can function in a new way.
There is no getting out of it, staying in step with ‘what is,’ no matter how maddening; it’s a slow, senseless and intense process and I have to follow it. This is my path.
Once the safety net has been built through years and years of hellish experiences, letting go becomes a quicker process, big chunks of the old can be released at once. I am being freed of so much, and I have no choice in this, I have to let go of everything, and I mean everything, including people. I am not here to carry them. I am not here to carry anything.
I feel freedom, but it comes with a price. I didn't expect having to let go of people. But that's how society is set up, that you need others. Only they can set themselves free. The moment they are ready to drop their stories the universe will rearrange itself. Awareness fixes everything.