Monday, May 19, 2014

The road to freedom

You cannot not do what you are doing.  Try not doing what you are doing.  Now you can stop beating yourself up that you should have done something differently.

You never deeply relax into your body because you think if you don't do something you are going to be stuck or worse you are going to lose everything.  And you will lose everything that isn't you.

I always have the right amount of money.  The mind thinks it's never enough.  I find it's always plenty.  Living on the edge that isn't there.  If you fall off the edge you fall into possibilities.  The center poses as the false security.  Staying in the center keeps you 'stuck', which is also an illusion.

No place has more possibility than any other place.

Jumping into the unknown empty-handed.  Everything that's known is illusion, a memory of something that was true once.  There is no repetition in the universe.  We are new each moment but people don't notice it.  Every time we do the same task, its never the same task.

Congruence makes for a friendly universe, when what I think is going on matches what's really going on.

Preferences keep me stuck.  I can't prefer one thing over another.  I have to love everything equally, otherwise I will avoid the downside. The way to move through unpleasantness is to feel it fully.  I have been dealing with full-blown rage in the privacy of my home and I welcome it.  When I go out in public I no longer apologize for my existence.  The truer me is coming out.  And now I notice the hidden rage in people.  Because its taken care off in me it doesn't scare me in others nor can they bring it out in me.

If you know what's going to happen next, its illusion.   People are afraid to wait for what shows up naturally so they grab what they know so that they can feel 'safe'.  Repetitious thinking.  Every thought is a distortion.  Thoughts don't match reality.   The mind is quite disagreeable.  I do something and the mind says: "You should be doing something else."  Or somebody says something and immediately advice is given.  The mind is a stimulus response machine.  I am being liberated from my thinking by getting smaller, by living at the level of atoms.  Only what exists right now in this moment.  Nothing else is real.  There is nothing I need to do today.  To the mind this is absurd:  how am I going to survive?  For many years I asked myself this question: 'How am I going to provide for myself by Being?'  The universe does all the providing.

I have no control over my attention and I wouldn't want to.  I would lose the wisdom of my attention.  I can't be trusted with important things.  The purpose of attention is to make everything irrelevant that gets into it.  We think what gets into our attention is important.  We have it backwards. Making what's in our attention relevant makes for a very small world. 

I have become vast by releasing everything that shows up in my attention.  I am lighter.  Anything I hold on to weighs me down. Holding on requires effort, which I no longer have.  I move into myself first and relax, because there is no out there out there.

When things get tough, always perceive you have a choice and never take it, that's the present.  This is a seemingly cruel process but I find I am being liberated from my own little hell.

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