Slow down, breathe, slow down even more.
I didn’t want to go deeper. I didn’t want to face more fears. I didn’t want to lose even more. I allowed the discomfort and went through the sound barrier. A new way of Being opened up.
I can no longer ignore me. The sensations in my body are real. I live in all possible extremes.
Society wants me to live hard and fast. The more I slow down the faster I am. What a great paradox. I trust my body and I am presented with a different kind of life. The body is so much faster than the mind. I am in the flow. Things are starting to work again, but not the way they used to. My patterns don’t work here. I don’t get to take anything with me. With every breath I lose my conditioning. With every breath I give up the known.
Every moment is created out of nothingness. Going into the unknown empty handed, this moment prepares me for the next. It’s not so scary any more. The ground work has been laid. Only when I feel safe can I let go of control and go deeper into my body.
Whenever I slow down I go through withdrawals at first. I don’t want to become emptier. My mind can’t handle that. It’s exactly that empty space that increases my capacity to contain life.
I am more in my body, less in my mind. With every breath I feel more subtlety. Like an atom subtlety is minuscule yet has such power. My walls are coming tumbling down, yet I have boundaries. There are all these paradoxes showing up in my life.