I am so furious, beyond rage. I am being given a chance to re-experience events that I have given power to. And I have done that for many years but its still not enough.
I wanted to move on, now I have to face it again. Zig and zag it goes. I don’t know where I stand. It feels like I am reliving the same day over and over, and I can’t get out. I have had enough!!
I am not supposed to do anything except observe whatever comes up. I can't be pro-active because all my energy is vested in this process, so I am re-active. I can't be mental about it. I have to feel it. Can you hear me scream?