Sunday, December 8, 2013


Things have changed again.  Something ended.  Every time something ends I think that something new will show up, that I will be moving forward.  But it never does.  These are endings without beginnings because my mind isn't comfortable with 'nothing' yet.

I am spending more time with people.  They all have the same theme, talking about what they are going to do next year, because all of them need to fill their minds with something.  Waiting for what shows up naturally is too scary for them.  

They tell me what I need to change about myself.  It usually doesn't take long for them to run my life with their minds, trying to change me rather than looking at themselves.  The trip into their world of illusion is exhausting and insane.

Their mind says: "It shouldn't be this way," and thus they work on changing me.  The mind has a problem with what is.  This makes people restless, always working on changing the outer world.   

Knowing that the universe put these people into my life to cure my insanity, I look at myself and what it brings out in me.  In time they will all disappear.  What makes you insane will also make you sane.  

I spent the money I set aside to pay bills on groceries.  I had such a great time with my son at the store.  We don't discuss money issues.  Presently money gets supplied as needed from unpredictable sources, which we have no control over.   Mind as well relax and have some fun with this.

Nothing is going the way we think, nothing is working the way it used to.  There are more spaces and that's why things happen very slowly because there is no repetition.  The spaces prepare the nervous system for what comes next.   In those spaces a lot of releasing happens.  That's why next year will be a very flexible and unpredictable year.

Two more weeks and my son will be done with his truck driving training.  Then he has to wait another 3 weeks until he turns 21 before he can drive.  Every situation is the perfect preparation for the next step.  The mind wants things to happen quicker, but the unconscious has to be made conscious so that we can go through life with awareness, and than I belief things will speed up.

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