Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The barrier

There has been so much upheaval.  My son isn't getting the loan.  Someone will sponsor him, or  whatever, it really doesn't matter.  I am not going to think of the worst case scenario, that's what the mind likes to come up with when things are uncertain.  We'll be where we'll be.  I have no say in it anyway.

What we do in this moment doesn't predict the next moment.  Just because we do A, B and C doesn't guarantee a certain outcome, not anymore.    It reminds me to give it all up and go back to stillness.  Everything takes care of itself.  Nothing is final.  We are in a perpetual state of becoming and passing away.

The dialectic of existence:  Whatever I hold on to, I will lose.  The expected never comes.  The longed-for is never achieved.  The desire is never fulfilled.  The very fact of asking becomes a barrier.  That's the paradox.

I don't ask of anything and I have become very relaxed, being ok with what is.

My neighbor drives me crazy sometimes.  But she only brings out my own insanity.  That's why changing her is futile.  Everything is here to make me sane.

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