Friday, June 1, 2012

There is Hell in the Hallway

My son is moving out tonight.  I have until Monday to leave here.  I have been through this so many times where I moved out without another place to go to.  The longest I had to wait for the next place to show up were 7 hours.  The shortest were 5 minutes.  Back then it was adventurous but now I don't want to live like that anymore.  Living like that has taught me that things show up in the craziest and most unexpected ways and that is keeping me somewhat together in this situation.

My life the way I know it has ended.  When I am alone I am falling apart and hurt so badly but when I am around my son I've got it together.  He has stopped asking if I found another place yet.  I've not gone anywhere in the past 2 weeks because I don't want to be around people.  The door to my old life has closed and a new door hasn't opened yet, but there is hell in the hallway.

Transition--that space between the familiar and the next big thing when there is nothing to hold onto--is hallway time.

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