Solitude

 

Everything is always falling apart and now faster than ever.  In the past 2 weeks I left the property once to do the laundry.  The emptiness is getting to me.   I am falling into the abyss.  There is nothing that will carry me out of it.   

Solitude is not a quiet time but a raging storm and a current that rips everything apart, taking away what doesn’t belong.  I am losing the cruel patriarchy; the mind, the only killer there is.

Emptiness is the Undefinable Pure, the Holy Chambers, the unspoken ho’oponopono where you just sit and weep, where the feeling is the prayer because there aren’t any words for the pain you are feeling,  the madness in your mind and the crazy pictures marching through your head.  When I came here I couldn’t breathe, I was resisting being here.   

I don’t know what the result of this emptiness is going to be.  There is no outside stimulus distracting me from hearing my inner screams.   This is a time of healing.

This too will come to an end.  What goes down must come up.