Thursday, January 9, 2014

The new way to be

My son turned 21 today.  He finished his commercial truck driving school, graduated with high scores, 17 recruiters called him in one day, but there is a tiny technicality.  He may not be able to drive for a year, and he isn't getting unemployment either (he lost his job 2.5 months ago).  We have no income whatsoever.

We took our truck to get fixed.  The mechanic made many promises, that we could pay part of the repairs by selling firewood to one of his friends.  That was 10 days ago.  The truck is still sitting there untouched, the firewood hasn't been picked up.

This has been going on for months, it's the sign of the new.  We are hanging in the space of nothing.  As we become lighter matter behaves differently.  I for one can no longer carry anything, especially not peoples problems.  It feels too heavy, as if I am getting a heart attack.

I can only focus on what's right in front of me, anything beyond that doesn't exist.  According to quantum physics everything is a wave until observed, our focus is limited to the size of a thumb.  People are so far into the future and the past that they don't notice this.

I know it has to be this way and I am stoked.  We cannot go back in time and the new is unfolding as we go.

I am riding an incredible wave.  One moment I am flying as high as a kite, the next I have butterflies in my stomach.  Solid ground appears as I put my foot on the ground and disappears as soon as I take it off the ground.

I can't handle knowing the whole plan.  Don't even show me the next step.  Before I can take the next step, this step vanishes.  There is nothing behind me and nothing before me.

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