When you can't go on, that's where you decided to stop.
I died some more today. I don't know how to go on. I don't even know what keeps me going. When that happens I allow myself to feel everything that shows up. Its an energetic process, not a mental one. I don't have to figure anything out.
Feeling the energies will take me to where I need to go. It releases everything that's in the way of the ultimate freedom. It shocks my mind out of its inflexibility. It opens me up to more hell. It stretches me to accept something new, the unknown.
Energetic openings are always a trip to hell first because of the unknown, otherwise we'd already be there. We need time to adjust to the down spiral. That's what makes this such a horrible journey, at least for me.