Saturday, October 12, 2013

The tribe no longer decides my fate

A new level of hell just opened up.  I haven't reached bottom yet. 

So much fear.  So much pain.  So much unease.

Something has ended and I am hitting a brick wall.  How do I go on from here.  My mind doesn't know what to do with this new situation.

Being part of the tribe you know what to do.  Its all programmed into you.  I have left the tribe.  I have no road map.  The mind needs a map.  It needs to know whats next.  It needs action.  It can't deal with this nothingness.  Give me something, anything.

I guess stillness too has its levels.  I am releasing so much.  I have to find fulfillment in stillness.  Nothing is going to rescue me.  That darn rabbit hole.

I have no more tools left.  Quantum physics has helped me figure things out.  But now I am at a loss.  Maybe the time for something else has come.

This is what it takes to manifest your soul.  Fear, insanity and dysfunction can't be part of that life.

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