The new energy is here

Massive new energy has arrived on this planet over the weekend. It feels like an invisible object has landed in my yard and I don't know what to do with it.  It feels strange.  It's taking it's toll on my body, I want to curl up and scream.  Everything aches and my body feels like lead, I can barely move my legs, although I did manage to walk to the lake.

You have to lose your mind so that you can travel at the speed that you are: beyond anything known.

This new energy is making me lose my mind.  My life is only bearable in the present moment.  If I go beyond the present moment it scares the crap out of me.

My mind can't process this energy, I can only feel it.  The energy feels like a flame that is burning through blockages, I have to give in to it.  The energy sits right in my gut.  I hate this.  I can't ask anyone about this because what do they know?  This energy has never been on this planet before.

My life has capsized.

This is too big for me to handle

The death gap

I live in the Magic Kingdom.  The road through hell will get you there.

Breathe and wait for what shows up naturally.  The gap between your breath and what shows up naturally is the death gap. 

You want to avoid feeling death so you reach for the familiar, something that guarantees your survival. 

When you wait for what shows up naturally you don't know what may show up, something unpleasant and uncomfortable, something that gets you out of your comfort zone, that's reason enough to run and grab the familiar. 

When you wait for what shows up naturally you always have to die before it shows up.

Shake, rattle and roll

The present moment doesn't require logic, it requires not knowing anything about anything.  The present moment is preceded by death to everything that ever was. The present moment can't be figured out, only experienced.  You can't prepare for anything.

People come up with manipulative slogans like 'The law of attraction'.  It's a mental concept that gives people the illusion of control.  You can't manipulate the universe. The ones who profit from it are the ones who sell the books to gullible people.  If things could be figured out we would already have done so.

The mind wants it's drug and the drug is called repetition. The patriarchal mind has turned us into human robots, predictable and seldom changeable.

The matrix is a trap. It has people living in the illusion that they have control over their lives, but they don't.  I can't change anything, I can only be present to what shows up., and this presence is what gives me life.

Professional Cliff Dangler

The universe will have you live outside your comfort zone where you perceive the abyss in front of you that isn't there, it only appears that way.  So you try to find patriarchal solutions to keep you away from that cliff because you are certainly not going to wait for what shows up naturally.  You aren't going to become a professional cliff dangler, it's too scary to wait for what the universe has in store for you at the last second right before you think you are going over that cliff.   You stay far away from the abyss as the passive onlooker of life.  But how can you launch successfully unless you stand right there straddling that edge. 

In this moment I don't know anything about the next moment at all.

The homeopathic life.  Like cures like.  Nobody likes to be given their own remedy, you may not survive it, but that's what it takes to cure your own shit.  Nobody is getting away with anything.  What you put out always comes back to you.

If you want to avoid feeling anything at all you are going to have to numb yourself so intensively that you appear dead to the people around you. You are going to have to embalm yourself with medication, food, talking, doing. You cannot outrun stillness anymore.

The eyes are the windows to the soul

.... and the mind is the trapdoor into hell.

In the present moment it's impossible to be upset because in the present moment everything is jaw dropping super perfect.

The mind doesn't see this perfection and finds problems with everything.

When I leave the present moment I am always upset.  Nothing is right and I want to fix it.  I ask others to help me fix it or I will prepare to avoid potential future problems, thus having all conversations revolve around fixing problems that exist in the mind only.  In the world of illusion this is called being responsible.  I no longer do this.  I am irresponsible.  I respond by not responding.

When you no longer connect at the level of problems your kids can breathe, they don't have to live in your insane world anymore and you can have a fun relationship with them.

Don't have an agenda.  Bring stillness into each moment and see what happens.

I am light, I carry nothing

Solving problems the patriarchal way only makes a bigger mess. Everything is energy. Trying to solve anything turns it into matter and makes it permanent.

Whenever I perceive a problem I ask the universe what I should do about it, I always get the same answer: Do nothing, just feel the energy of it, be with the energy of the problem.  This way it never turns into matter, its being resolved without it ever showing up in my reality.

The world of illusion is a place of matter where everything matters. Breath resolves matter.  Breathe through it to breeze through it.  Any heaviness gets resolved by breathing through it.

When you don't act on a problem but breathe through it you will shake in your boots because all that heavy energy is being dislodged from your body and you become lighter.

There is nothing that needs to be solved. The mind finds problems where there aren't any. The mind creates matter, breath creates flow.

The brutal beast

I am your mind.  I am here to beat you up.

Life is full of paradoxes. When I have little money I live on it effortlessly and have money left over. When I have more money it flies out the window and I have nothing to show for it.

My friend spends money and beats herself up over it. Her husband is trying to get her to spend less. There is lots of tension around money between them. You cannot not do what you are doing. You can only do what you do and never do what you don't do. She has to spend money until she doesn't.

My friend's mind is telling her that she should stop spending money. Her husband's mind agrees with her mind and now they have an argument going. This is what happens when the mind is involved. Your mind thinks that you can change 'what is.' You can't change anything . If people would understand this they would stop nagging each other and be ok with what the other is doing.

With the mind's commentary you will spend money and hate yourself for it. Without the mind's commentary you will spend money and feel gratitude.

Your mind will brutally beat you up and tell you that you are weak and a failure because you want to change something that you can't. Observing it will change it, but you have no control over what it changes into. Maybe you will end up spend even more money. You don't know.

The end of the patriarchal mind

On New Years day there was a dramatic shift. The planet was blasted with massive amounts of new energy. It's getting harder to keep the Matrix alive.

People everywhere are being pulled out of their minds. Our minds cannot keep up with this vastness.  We are being thrown out of our comfort zones.

Thinking things through isn't getting us anywhere. We are energetic beings and this energy is being felt in our lives.  Our minds have kept us from ourselves.

People are still doing the same things, but it doesn't feel like it used to. Everything feels different. Be present with it and feel it. That is the only option we have.

He ain't heavy

Most people live in the world of illusion and they expect me to support their illusion by helping them.

You aren't helping them by helping them.

"But he is my brother, he ain't heavy".  Put him down.  We aren't meant to carry somebody else's package, we aren't even meant to carry our own package.  We are light, we carry nothing.

My daughter is telling me that last semester was harder.  The universe is asking her to drop some baggage, that's why things appear more difficult.  When it gets tougher its time to let go of something.  But you can't drop it, it has to drop you. If you drop it you will pick it up later.  The only work on your part is observation, notice it, feel it.  The universe does the rest.

For 8 years of being around my friend she still hasn't noticed that I am not like her, that I have left the Matrix.  She is moving away and wants me to help her pack, not only that, her teenage daughter goes to the University a few miles from here and she wants me to take care of her daughter as well.  First of all, nobody provides for their children, the universe does that.

In the world of illusion as her friend I am obligated to help her, but I can't, my body won't allow it.  I am being asked to carry less and less illusion.

Definition for 'friend': A person you use and abuse to keep your illusion alive; someone you ask for help to carry your illusion; someone who agrees with your illusion; someone who has the same illusion as you do.

Reality is kind, illusion is brutal.

Illusion requires maintenance.

Illusion is exhausting.