I walked away from a friendship. If someone wants to constantly change me and see something wrong with what I do with my life than that's abuse. I have no room for that. Not accepting me and trying to push me along to fit into their illusion isn't working. Life is an intricate paradox. You can't tell someone how to live their life.
People see me as they are not as I am. This was a parent-child relationship where she couldn't wait to fix me. There was always an undertone of 'I know better than you and I am here to teach you.' I am not allowed to feel what I feel. I don't even treat my kids that way. I have a relationship of equality with them.
Lots of changes are happening, mainly because I am dropping my patterns. You can't be afraid to be alone, you can't be afraid of death and you can't have survival fears. Than you can truly be a free expression of who you really are.
Disclaimer: This is just an opinion. Tomorrow will be different.
There is nothing concrete, everything is always changing. I really don't know anything except feel like shit. If this journey could be figured out we would have done that a long time ago. I feel a void and emptiness around everything. It feels like I am falling off a cliff.