The brain knows 6 seconds before I know what I am going to do because everything gets downloaded to the brain first from The Field and than is projected out there for me to interact with.
I as a conscious witness of my inner life am not making decisions. I can only witness these decisions. Something else is running my life and I have suspected that for a very long time.
What I want to do throughout the day is based on my patterns. I am a creature of habit and these patterns are being interrupted more so every day. I don't get to do what I want. 'Want' is based on conditioning.
Its a daily chiseling away of programming. Whatever needs to get done will get done without any effort on my part. People have opinions and no one I personally know is agreeing with my approach of doing nothing, which results in the friction I need to continue with my explorations. I am always questioning everything. Am I listening to them or am I following my gut, the unknown?
When you meet the Buddha, or whatever Guru, kill him and go further. This is a journey where no one can help me. I have dropped enough baggage and this process isn't scaring me nearly as much. I feel lighter.
My son has been going through orientation with a trucking company for the past 3 weeks and will be gone probably for another week. He has his own illusions. People always want to solve problems that aren't there. Instead of waiting for what shows up naturally he's already ahead of the game making plans. He wants us to move to the cabin. There is no running water nor electricity. It would be living off-grid.
If I would act on people's illusions I would go crazy. The body can't stand up and sit down at the same time, yet people are trying to do this all the time. They are living their lives in their heads, which is totally incongruent. The actions of the mind are based on what it knows and the actions of the body are based on what is needed.
My body is not preparing to move out to the cabin and I am not using my mind to force my body to pack up. I listen to the wisdom of my body and neither my son, nor my mind, nor anyone else is going to override this. I am relaxed in my body.
I trust my body and my body is always saying: Do less.
People have stories about why they do what they do and these stories are totally unrelated. Its all made up, yet they never notice.
My journey is a journey to sanity where the mind will never again rule. Its a treacherous path and society has a required safety gear in the form of a big bank account, insurance, protection of all sorts. I have none of that. I am empty handed and I am facing all my fears.