I have been staying in my sons hospital room over night. He is getting discharged on Wednesday but has to come back in a few weeks to have his skull bones put back in.
He is going to live with his dad and I don't know where I am going. I don't like it at all, but I have to accept what the universe has for us.
I have been experiencing deep sadness. The old is dying and I am glad, but does it have to be so painful? I have nothing to go by other than my internal compass. Everyone around me is living in the old world. I am transmuting so many survival issues. I don't blame them for wanting to live in the matrix. At least they are not tormented as I am. They have something they can count on.
I may have to spend Christmas the traditional way. There was no room at the inn and Jesus was born in a stable. I may end up living in my son's truck. It seems that the universe has forsaken me. I have always kept my chin up but lately my heart has been heavy.
This morning I felt my body being taken apart at the molecular level over and over again feeling the swirling energies and then being put back together.