Tuesday, December 11, 2012


I am back to sleeping in the Truck  I didn't want to stay at the Hospitality House any longer and the universe removed me immediately.  I enjoyed staying there, but it was time for a change.  My inner compass already knew that my time there was up and started to pack my things automatically.  My mind had no clue what was going on and so I observed what my body was doing.  The body always knows what's next.

The nurses and doctors want to know where we are going to live once my son gets released from the hospital.  I don't know because at this moment I am fully here.  I don't split myself.  When you split an atom you get the atomic bomb and when you split a human you get a splitting headache, schizophrenia, dysfunction and insanity among other things.  

The body can do anything.  It's the conditioned mind that holds us back.  The more input we can receive from the universe the more flexible we are and the faster life moves.  The mind isn't going to safe us, flexibility will.

To become flexible my foundation keeps being shaken to the core.  It's all about letting go.  I will continue going through hell until I have let go of everything and see everything as neutral.  Letting go looks like I am losing everything.  When illusions fall away its very painful for a moment.

My son is trying to find a solution to our 'dilemma'.  He is not there yet to wait for what shows up naturally.  No solutions can come from the mind because life is too complex for the mind to handle.  Life is complex, not difficult. 

The universe will not give us things that reinforce our illusions.  When I am emotionally ready for the next step it shows up.  There is always so much that I have to release before I can accept what shows up because the universe never gives me what I want.  If I get what I want I will go deeper into the illusion.

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