The First Monkey

Being the 100th monkey is easy, but who is the first monkey?

People go through the same motions day after day never noticing anything, talking about how they could have done things differently or how they are going to change things.  You cannot do anything differently, it's not possible.  Thinking that you have any control over anything  just shows how ignorant and insane you are.

Most people don't want to be where they are.  We cannot change our physical location no matter how hard our minds try to escape from it.  The mind comes up with ideas how to change the physical reality.  I cannot not do what I am doing.  The only choice I have is accepting what is.  The only choice I have is stillness, anything else is insanity and futility.

The mind can only change through direct experience.  You can talk until you are blue in the face, words will not change anybody.  

I am in my body,  I don't use my mind to beat the shit out of myself by planning what I am going to do or by deciding what I want.   I observe my body and allow my body to make all decisions.  If I don't know where I want to go I watch my body where it is taking me, that takes all the guesswork out of my life.  I follow my body, my mind has no input.  My body is always in the present moment, that's how I know what is going on and what needs to be done.  The mind always overrides it and wants to change things.  I don't listen to my mind.  The mind is the most unreliable source there is.  

People never notice anything because they are so stuck in their minds.  People are stuck in their illusions as if it's a matter of life and death.  They are in their minds so that they don't have to notice anything.

No evidence

In the present moment there is no evidence of what is going to happen because 99.99% is stillness.  The cat sitting at the mouse hole waits patiently.  The cat doesn't ask the mouse: "When are you going to come out?"  Humans keep asking when is this or that going to happen?  You will never know until it shows up.

If you knew whats going to happen you would toss the universe aside and prepare for it, you would leave the present moment.  I am usually shown several possibilities that are opposite each other.  This puts me into the present moment and prepares me energetically for all possibilities so that I am ok with whatever shows up.

We are taught that we are always supposed to know what is going on, but we don't, so we make up stories.  Politicians make up stories about how they are going to safe everything.  Wouldn't it be nice if they could admit that they don't know.  I am tired of explaining my life to people.  Any explanation is a million times removed from who I really am.  I am not a mental concept.

I used to have silent days where I would not speak.  I know a man who always spends his first dates in silence.

My observations

They think they are fixing the machine.  The machine fixes itself.  The car fixes itself.  That the man fixes the machine is an illusion.  The mechanic doesn't do a thing.

If I need a phone to talk to people than I am not meant to talk to them.

That you have to tell people what to do is an illusion.  Everybody always knows what to do.

You intrude on the universe when you don't wait for what shows up naturally.

Everything gets detonated the moment it is built.  

Every few seconds you get upset and you blame your surroundings for it.  Every few seconds everything dies.   When you are in your mind you are not aware of it.

I don't ever have to go after anything.  Everything comes to me.

The body needs one pair of shoes, the mind needs 100 pairs.

Choice is an illusion, choice = running away.  Always perceive you have a choice and never make it, that's the present.

Sales people have an agenda. They don't know that the universe decides who buys and who doesn't.

I don't change the outside, I change the inside.

The mind is conditioned to only go so far and than it keeps repeating the same loop.  To go further you have to face all your fears.  Facing your fears is the way out.

The thing about reality is that you have to be so flexible that it squeezes your nuts.

I am not doing anything, its doing me.  Gitr done.

Its not the behavior that is insane, its the story about the behavior that's insane.

Change your address, change your life

If you don't know your soul you will be pulled into people's illusions.

You can't let anything pull you out of the present moment.  You have to take the heat.

Everything takes care of itself.  When you meddle it can't play itself out and you intrude with your fear-based interventions. 

My mind is coming up with all kinds of solutions and I am being entertained by them.  The mind is here for entertainment only, and not to torment you.

In the old patriarchal system everything has to be prepared way ahead of time.  In the new system everything shows up when it is needed and not the moment before.  If it shows up the moment before its in the way.  My next place is there when I need it and not a moment sooner.  I can't come up with solutions, I have to wait for the soulution.  If I hit the escape button I will stay in the old patriarchal system, in the world of illusion.

Hitting the eject button.  You are ejecting from the present moment.  How do you expect  anything to come into your life when you are not there? Everything gets delivered, but you are at the wrong address.  Bailing out will cost you.

If you want your life to work you need to change your address.

Reality check

People seek illusion because its safe and familiar.  Reality is too much to handle, you don't know whats next.  You get to experience the bliss of the moment and than it has to die to make room for the bliss of the next moment.  You are always hanging over a cliff not knowing if something will catch you.  You get to love what shows up instead of rejecting it.  Reality only knows beauty.

When you allow your mind to be in charge you close because the mind is afraid to open.  Anything mental is brutal.  The mind feeds on illusion.

This moment is full of this moment, just show up to the party, without death you cannot come.

Observing vs. meddling

Life is like a board game.  When you meddle you get to repeat the experience.  When you observe you get to advance to the next phase.

I have been living at my ex's apartment for over 3 months.  He got married and is now living with his wife.  He is a hoarder and his stuff is still here.   We have to be out of here by the end of the month.

This is the strangest move ever.  My mind is flipping.   One more week left and they are not moving anything out of here.   Every room is filled with stuff.  My mind is expecting this to go a certain way but its not happening.  Their actions give me problems, but I won't meddle.  Now my mind is trying to figure out what's going on.  My son just left with an empty trailer to go to his dad's place.  Why didn't he load it up?   How are they going to get all this stuff out of here by the end of the month?

My conclusion:   Illusion makes sense.  Reality is insane.  In the world of illusion what appears sane is insane and what appears insane is sane.

It is so hard to observe and accept everything the way it is.  I want to meddle and know what's going on, but I won't because I am not going to repeat this experience.  So I am going to allow it to be the way it is.  I feel insane right now.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.

I have to get smaller.  I can't look at this with an agenda.  I can't give it the label 'moving'.  Moving is made up of many moments.  I can't decide what's going to happen in the next moment, nor what it should look like.  I have to allow the moment to show me what's supposed to happen.

   

Self inflicted pain - The editor

Two more weeks and I am out of here, destination still unknown.  My only requirement is to stay in the present moment.  The universe makes all the arrangements.

The pain we cause ourselves by not allowing us to even notice how we edit everything the universe has for us.  By the time the mind is done fucking with it it doesn't even resemble anything worth wanting.  In the present there is only pleasure.

The new body language

Shut up

The mind is addicted to meddling.  It can't leave the moment alone, it can't accept things the way they are, pure, effortless energy.

You have already planned what you are going to do today, tomorrow, next week, and when it doesn't go as planned you have a story about it.   You are always making up stories about your life so that you don't notice that you have no control over anything. 

Relax your body and breathe.  Let the body decide whats next.  Never let the mind tell the body what to do.  Decisions are made somewhere else and our bodies execute them.  Our minds don't have any input, they just think they do.  Breathe into each moment.  You will end up doing less and accomplish more.  The body knows where to go and what to do.  Listening to the body is scary if you are not used to it.

Your life takes painstaking effort.  The simplest decisions keep you stuck in your head and you beat yourself up over them:  'I should have done that differently.   I should have bought something else.  I should have done something else.  I should have been better prepared.'  Regrets keep you missing everything.  Life happens at lightning speed when left alone by the mind.  Your body will reach for things without you having to think about it.  Your body will take you places without you making arrangements.  Breathe into each moment and see what shows up.   What you can't let go off will trip you up.  

Control is an illusion.  Once you realize you have no control over anything life becomes easy.

Energy thieves

Anything I am not neutral about, anything I have an opinion about, will rob me of energy, has power over me.  Opinions are another form of holding on. 

I don't understand anything.  The intellect can't follow where I am going.  My life is more real than anything I have ever done.  I find solace in the present moment.  If I leave the present moment I will be a fugitive.  When I am detached I am one with all things.

Choice is an illusion

Vulnerability

Always perceive you have a choice and never make it, that's the present.  The present is the only gift there is.

What if everything could massage you?  Love everything.  Give love to everything you see.  Relax into each moment and see what it has for you.  

Humanity has lost its way, this is the way back.

Delusional

There is no place to go except the present moment.   If you are not here you are delusional, diluting the present moment, you have no power, no influence.

For you to be here everything has to die, the past, the future.   You cannot bring a prepared response to this moment.  If you already have an expectation of what its supposed to look like you are in trouble, its like stale bread.   Allowing each moment its own breath will bring life to it.

The New World

I have reached the tipping point.  Functioning in the 3D world has become impossible, my vibration doesn't match.  I have to move out of here next month.  What used to take years is now being accomplished in moments. 

The reason why I don't know where I am going is because I am not yet ready to know.  I still have to be fully here and not in my new place.  Being present in each moment is the preparation for what is next.  I have to trust that whatever shows up is perfect and much better than what I could come up with.  I am not really enjoying this, its nerve wrecking, but what can I do, its the new way of being.

Attitude problem

 Just shove it up your ...

I can no longer function inside the illusion.  I am quite happy about that.  But what do I do with my sales job?  They still operate in the old patriarchal way and I don't fit into that anymore.   They can just shove it up their....

Now I get to live in the present moment and see what shows up in each moment, to not have an agenda even when the people around me have one.  Where I don't leave myself anymore just to please my boss.

The path not traveled

How on earth did we get off the path?  Were we ever on it? 

When my addictions are gone life is harmonious.  By addictions I mean wanting to go places when I am home; doing things when I am not doing anything; wanting people around when I am alone.  An addiction is wanting something other than what is showing up.  Being in the past or future, anything that keeps me from being here is an addiction.  This moment alone is real.  Knowing that this moment supports me and provides everything I need.

The Tao Te Ching
 
64.  Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe.

Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm
at the end as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things.

The Tao Te Ching translated by S. Mitchell

The mind on fire

My mind always comes up with an emergency to pull me out of the present moment. The mind will tell me what to do, when and how to do it. The mind's tricks aren't easily discovered. "You can't sit there and do nothing, you have to get going."  When I am rushing I am on my own, the universe will not support me.  I have to stop and align myself with the universe.  

The other day I was in a hurry to get to my job and I locked myself out. It made me remember that I will always get to where I need to be when I am supposed to be there.

No illusions in my mind and no resistances in my body.  I have to let go of everything including my job and see if I will end up there.  I will get there when I get there.  And no premeditating of what I am going to say.  No more carrying of anything.  I cannot leave the present moment and think that something in the future is more important than what is happening now.  I cannot prepare for the future because it doesn't exist.

Tao Te Ching

38. The Master does nothing,
yet he leaves nothing undone.
The ordinary man is always doing things,
yet many more are left to be done.

48. In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.

Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.
True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering.


74. If you realize that all things change,
there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
If you aren't afraid of dying,
there is nothing you can't achieve.
Trying to control the future
is like trying to take the master carpenter's place.

When you handle the master carpenter's tools,
chances are that you'll cut your hand.

  The  Tao Te Ching written by Lao Tzu, from a translation by S. Mitchell

Letting go of everything I know about anything

I cannot not do what I am doing.  Another big surprise showed up, I am in sales.  After living in isolation for many years I am back in mainstream society.  I went to get some water and ended up getting a sales job.  Its strictly commission.

Going deeper into the illusion

Energy works circular.  That's why we always come full circle.  The same old problems seem to creep up but each time at a notch higher.  That's what happened to me.  I am back in an environment I thought I left for good almost 6 years ago.  I had to go back.  If I didn't I would go deeper into the illusion.  I now have the insight to see the illusion for what it is.

When we run from the present moment we go deeper into the illusion, thus creating problems.  In the present moment there are no problems.  The present moment takes care of everything.  

 

What makes you insane also makes you sane

We are each others homeopathic remedy.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.   The present moment is always sane.  When you escape from it you create insanity.  There is only one upset, the loss of the present.  When it requires maintenance it is illusion.

Joy

Anything that does not look like joy should not be done.  The energy you put out always returns to you.  Not only that, on its way back it picks up speed and collects everything of like vibration, thus increasing it ten fold.  It could get quite messy. 

The universe is always listening, every single thought and feeling will be delivered with precision.  

And that’s why I am sweating. As always I will get rescued the last minute.  People are watching me and want to interfere with their fixed mind programming.  To them I am the one who looks insane.

In the world of illusion that which is sane appears insane and that which is insane appears sane.

The laws of the universe state that you must always experience that which you create.  So, if you suffer, don’t blame the government, your environment or your significant other.  It’s always you.

This moment prepares me for the next.

Your mind will wear you out 24/7 with preparations for the future.  Can you stand up and sit down at the same time?  

People are nowhere to be found, they are always somewhere in the future or the past.

This moment prepares me for the next.  I always have what I need when I pay attention to what is happening in this moment but when I prepare for the future I am always behind and I live in lack.  

The sage does not do yet all is done.  Lao Te Ching