Observing vs. meddling

Life is like a board game.  When you meddle you get to repeat the experience.  When you observe you get to advance to the next phase.

I have been living at my ex's apartment for over 3 months.  He got married and is now living with his wife.  He is a hoarder and his stuff is still here.   We have to be out of here by the end of the month.

This is the strangest move ever.  My mind is flipping.   One more week left and they are not moving anything out of here.   Every room is filled with stuff.  My mind is expecting this to go a certain way but its not happening.  Their actions give me problems, but I won't meddle.  Now my mind is trying to figure out what's going on.  My son just left with an empty trailer to go to his dad's place.  Why didn't he load it up?   How are they going to get all this stuff out of here by the end of the month?

My conclusion:   Illusion makes sense.  Reality is insane.  In the world of illusion what appears sane is insane and what appears insane is sane.

It is so hard to observe and accept everything the way it is.  I want to meddle and know what's going on, but I won't because I am not going to repeat this experience.  So I am going to allow it to be the way it is.  I feel insane right now.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.

I have to get smaller.  I can't look at this with an agenda.  I can't give it the label 'moving'.  Moving is made up of many moments.  I can't decide what's going to happen in the next moment, nor what it should look like.  I have to allow the moment to show me what's supposed to happen.

   

The new body language

Shut up

The mind is addicted to meddling.  It can't leave the moment alone, it can't accept things the way they are, pure, effortless energy.

You have already planned what you are going to do today, tomorrow, next week, and when it doesn't go as planned you have a story about it.   You are always making up stories about your life so that you don't notice that you have no control over anything. 

Relax your body and breathe.  Let the body decide whats next.  Never let the mind tell the body what to do.  Decisions are made somewhere else and our bodies execute them.  Our minds don't have any input, they just think they do.  Breathe into each moment.  You will end up doing less and accomplish more.  The body knows where to go and what to do.  Listening to the body is scary if you are not used to it.

Your life takes painstaking effort.  The simplest decisions keep you stuck in your head and you beat yourself up over them:  'I should have done that differently.   I should have bought something else.  I should have done something else.  I should have been better prepared.'  Regrets keep you missing everything.  Life happens at lightning speed when left alone by the mind.  Your body will reach for things without you having to think about it.  Your body will take you places without you making arrangements.  Breathe into each moment and see what shows up.   What you can't let go off will trip you up.  

Control is an illusion.  Once you realize you have no control over anything life becomes easy.

Ripple Effects

When we force things we create ripple effects of immense proportions.  When a butterfly flaps its wings it influences the weather on the other side of the planet.  Now imagine when things get forced, it ripples out and comes back picking up everything of like vibration like a magnet.   Energy works circular, so you always have to clean up your own mess and it will keep you busy.

A small change in one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.

Never have an agenda but observe where its going on its own.  No meddling, no manipulating.  Purity of action will show up.  But mainly there won't be any action required.

The Western mind has been conditioned to aggressively pursue things, to go after them.  This behavior is greatly praised.  We are taught to beat ourselves up.  Taking care of ourselves is considered selfish and lazy.  We are always supposed to be there for someone else, to always put out.  Neediness is encouraged.  Life has no strings attached, but we are taught to hold on and never let go.