Driven by the mind

When you lose your job your programming will have you look for another job because that's all your mind knows.  The mind will always reach for the same experiences.

I am being shown alternate realities so that deep-seated emotions can show up.  I am experiencing that I will live in Germany and never again return to the states.  Those thoughts horrify me and I have to allow them until all emotions have been released because the mind's programming can never be in charge again, only my True Self can ever be in charge.

I should be comfortable with wherever my body is and whatever my body is doing.  But I am chok-full of emotions and my mind is like a run-away train and I keep being thrown under the train.  I have to release all of my conditioning, all my emotions.  

Nothing can be based on neediness.  I had to leave my children behind in the USA.  It seems like a very cruel joke but it is the road to freedom for all of us.  When I see my children again we will relate to each other on a completely new level.

Labor of Love?

This isn't necessary

The moment won't move, so you move your mind because you hate the stillness; like a boulder up a steep hill, you push and push and you wonder why you are exhausted.  You blame your exhaustion on your life circumstances, on your age, on all the things that need to get done.  Everything is done.  Everything is whole but your mental illness won't let you see it.  

You keep taking things apart so you can fix them.  Everything is whole, everything is done.  Don't let your mind pull you into the world of illusion.

No beautiful mind

A beautiful mind - the movie

A beautiful mind is a still mind. 

The mind doesn't want this. The mind doesn't want your life.  The mind wants illusion.  The mind wants the known.  The mind has an emergency exit called illusion.  The mind can't cope with reality.  It is forever looking for something it can recognize. 

Reality is unrecognizable to the mind.  We need to lose our minds completely. 

Action happens without the mind's involvement, but people don't notice this.  They belief that without thought nothing happens.  Thought is far removed from who we really are. In the world of illusion it appears as if the mind is the cause for anything to function.  The mind has no function, it keeps you from reality.

My dad sits in his wheel chair all day long and fabricates illusions and wants his children to participate in them.  We of course can't because our bodies won't allow it because reality will not support needy relationships.  He is dissatisfied with his life and blames everyone else for it.  Bitterness arises when you don't know the difference between illusion and reality.  

The body is always in the present moment while the mind rips everything to pieces.  My relatives want me to visit them.  They put the burden on me to come and see them.  My body is not bringing me to them. They don't see that they are the ones who have to change, not me.  My life does not belong to my mind nor theirs.  My life belongs to my body, the universe made flesh.

Dogs in Heat

No need to carry anything

People hate reality.  They are always escaping reality because they don't want to clean up their own fucking shit, because reality will show you what you need to do to become whole, but instead you run from reality so that you can blame everybody else for your asinine existence.  Looking at your own dysfunction isn't pretty.  It's easier to make others responsible for the mess in your life.

I have been living with my dad at his retirement home for the past 3 weeks.  He can't handle my stillness.  He expects me to act like a dog in heat, talking all the time, moving my body unnecessarily in excitement.  It is bringing out his dysfunction, blaming me for it.  He has been attacking me relentlessly.

People get upset every few seconds and whatever is in their awareness at that moment gets blamed for it. 

There is only one upset, the loss of the present. 

The First Monkey

Being the 100th monkey is easy, but who is the first monkey?

People go through the same motions day after day never noticing anything, talking about how they could have done things differently or how they are going to change things.  You cannot do anything differently, it's not possible.  Thinking that you have any control over anything  just shows how ignorant and insane you are.

Most people don't want to be where they are.  We cannot change our physical location no matter how hard our minds try to escape from it.  The mind comes up with ideas how to change the physical reality.  I cannot not do what I am doing.  The only choice I have is accepting what is.  The only choice I have is stillness, anything else is insanity and futility.

The mind can only change through direct experience.  You can talk until you are blue in the face, words will not change anybody.  

I am in my body,  I don't use my mind to beat the shit out of myself by planning what I am going to do or by deciding what I want.   I observe my body and allow my body to make all decisions.  If I don't know where I want to go I watch my body where it is taking me, that takes all the guesswork out of my life.  I follow my body, my mind has no input.  My body is always in the present moment, that's how I know what is going on and what needs to be done.  The mind always overrides it and wants to change things.  I don't listen to my mind.  The mind is the most unreliable source there is.  

People never notice anything because they are so stuck in their minds.  People are stuck in their illusions as if it's a matter of life and death.  They are in their minds so that they don't have to notice anything.

The power of stillness

The mind has one story only and that is hardship.  Reality is gentle.  The hardest part is letting go of illusion.  The time in between when illusion leaves and reality shows up, the mind has a hay day with the time in between.  If it were easy we all would have left illusion already.

There is a reason why 99.99% is stillness and only .01% is action.  Because the .01% action is all you can handle, it is that explosive and powerful.  Stillness increases our capacity to be powerful.

We are not used to not doing.  Doing is all we know.  Its been drilled into us.  Most the time nothing is happening and you are looking at the daisies because our nervous system goes through powerful preparations. 

When you are in your body you are automatically connected to the present. You have no agenda and the next moment isn't even on your mind.

Rescue me

Daniel in the Lions Den

The mind has never been in charge.  People have abandoned their intuition and given in to the pressures of their mind to act when their gut will tell them to wait.  They have given in to their fears.  This entire society is a product of fear.  Life isn't hard, illusion is.  When it requires maintenance its illusion.  Every day your mind is giving you an ass whooping and you accept it.

I have been staying with a friend for a week.  My plan was to fly to Germany last Monday but than the universe told me to wait and I have not been given the go-ahead yet.  People want answers because that's how their minds work, but I don't have any answers, I don't know the outcome of this.  My friend has been pressuring me, she wants to know where she stands.  This is too harsh an environment for me so the universe removed her for 4 weeks to take care of her mother in Texas.  Her two daughters (20 & 24) and husband are here.  The daughters sleep until afternoon and the husband stays in his office most the time, he works from home.  They too want to know so I stay out of sight.

I feel so horribly punished right now but how else are people going to see what their mind is doing to them.  I am here so that they all can witness to trust the universe and not their mind.  I hope this is over soon.  At times I am going out of my mind because my mind cannot grasp how I am going to be rescued, but rescued I will.

I have $1.77, 150 Euros, no car, no phone.  None of these limit my possibilities.  I rely on the universe.

The mind delivers manure

Misthaufen

When your mind is in charge of your life you will have shitloads of manure delivered to your doorstep.  You will try to solve problems that exist in the imagination of your mind only.  This is not the imagination Einstein is talking about:  

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

Each moment is veiled in the unknown.  The mind has a big problem with not knowing and fills it with its illusionary vision of what it knows, namely problems.  Nothing is possible to the mind. People plan their lives so that they can escape the unknown.  The mind always has to know where it stands.  Leaving things up to 'fate' is too horrifying.  

Relaxing into each moment, allowing it to unfold and embracing it, from day one we have been taught that it will spell disaster, that you will be destitute, end up as a pauper.  To the contrary.  You will have everything you desire, love you can't even imagine, wisdom, abundance, beauty, the world at your feet and than some.

The loss of the present

There is only one upset, the loss of the present.  When you are not present you are upset.  People blame their upset on whatever shows up in their space.

People give me advice based on their illusions.  Their lives aren't working but they tell me what to do. Things show up the last minute and people want to rush it. 

The universe uses bodies to provide for me.  I never have to ask for anything because their bodies always do what they are supposed to while their minds rebel.

For instance my daughter didn't want to visit last Saturday, a 4-hour drive, but she did.  I have no phone nor computer and I needed her.  She came without me asking her.  She said I was lucky that she came.  I said luck has nothing to do with it, your body always does what its supposed to.  

People think their minds move their bodies but that is not true.  The universe is in charge of our bodies.  I don't listen to what people say but watch their bodies what they do.

I never have to ask for anything.  It was very hot and I walk a lot.  I was standing in the shade when an employee of a store came outside.  She told me that I need an umbrella, took me inside the store, grabbed an umbrella and gave it to me.  I didn't have to pay for it.  People give me things because the universe directs their bodies to be of service to me.  When I ask I don't get anything because then the mind is involved.  Nothing ever comes from the mind.  The mind is clueless.

Reality is kind, illusion is brutal

Every moment of your life your mind brutalizes you

The body is always in reality.  The mind can't grasp reality and lives in the world of illusion. 

The mind thinks its in charge, but it isn't, the body is in charge, its the universe made flesh and knows everything. 

The patriarchal world depends on the mind to make life's decisions and it shows.  Illusion is brutal.

The body is capable of running marathons without ever training for them, but the conditioned mind says that's impossible, the harder I work the more I will succeed.  The mind lives in the world of effort and hard work.  It can't accept that things are easy.  We are light, energy, there is no effort.

The body is always comfortably in the present moment, the mind never is, it is always overriding the wisdom of the body, turning you into someone you are not.  Our bodies are directed by the universe which is loving, kind, abundant. When you follow your body you will always know what is real.

My observations

They think they are fixing the machine.  The machine fixes itself.  The car fixes itself.  That the man fixes the machine is an illusion.  The mechanic doesn't do a thing.

If I need a phone to talk to people than I am not meant to talk to them.

That you have to tell people what to do is an illusion.  Everybody always knows what to do.

You intrude on the universe when you don't wait for what shows up naturally.

Everything gets detonated the moment it is built.  

Every few seconds you get upset and you blame your surroundings for it.  Every few seconds everything dies.   When you are in your mind you are not aware of it.

I don't ever have to go after anything.  Everything comes to me.

The body needs one pair of shoes, the mind needs 100 pairs.

Choice is an illusion, choice = running away.  Always perceive you have a choice and never make it, that's the present.

Sales people have an agenda. They don't know that the universe decides who buys and who doesn't.

I don't change the outside, I change the inside.

The mind is conditioned to only go so far and than it keeps repeating the same loop.  To go further you have to face all your fears.  Facing your fears is the way out.

The thing about reality is that you have to be so flexible that it squeezes your nuts.

I am not doing anything, its doing me.  Gitr done.

Its not the behavior that is insane, its the story about the behavior that's insane.

Change your address, change your life

If you don't know your soul you will be pulled into people's illusions.

You can't let anything pull you out of the present moment.  You have to take the heat.

Everything takes care of itself.  When you meddle it can't play itself out and you intrude with your fear-based interventions. 

My mind is coming up with all kinds of solutions and I am being entertained by them.  The mind is here for entertainment only, and not to torment you.

In the old patriarchal system everything has to be prepared way ahead of time.  In the new system everything shows up when it is needed and not the moment before.  If it shows up the moment before its in the way.  My next place is there when I need it and not a moment sooner.  I can't come up with solutions, I have to wait for the soulution.  If I hit the escape button I will stay in the old patriarchal system, in the world of illusion.

Hitting the eject button.  You are ejecting from the present moment.  How do you expect  anything to come into your life when you are not there? Everything gets delivered, but you are at the wrong address.  Bailing out will cost you.

If you want your life to work you need to change your address.

Reality check

People seek illusion because its safe and familiar.  Reality is too much to handle, you don't know whats next.  You get to experience the bliss of the moment and than it has to die to make room for the bliss of the next moment.  You are always hanging over a cliff not knowing if something will catch you.  You get to love what shows up instead of rejecting it.  Reality only knows beauty.

When you allow your mind to be in charge you close because the mind is afraid to open.  Anything mental is brutal.  The mind feeds on illusion.

This moment is full of this moment, just show up to the party, without death you cannot come.

Insanity

The conditioned mind can't cope with reality.   In order to let go of illusion the mind has to be tricked.  Illusions are lies, but they have a hold on people who think its real.  

Any communication is no more than a report on a condition within that person, and that condition is insanity.  If you can't be here in this moment without your baggage you are insane.   

You don't get to decide what you are present to.  Presence is beyond the mind.

Observing vs. meddling

Life is like a board game.  When you meddle you get to repeat the experience.  When you observe you get to advance to the next phase.

I have been living at my ex's apartment for over 3 months.  He got married and is now living with his wife.  He is a hoarder and his stuff is still here.   We have to be out of here by the end of the month.

This is the strangest move ever.  My mind is flipping.   One more week left and they are not moving anything out of here.   Every room is filled with stuff.  My mind is expecting this to go a certain way but its not happening.  Their actions give me problems, but I won't meddle.  Now my mind is trying to figure out what's going on.  My son just left with an empty trailer to go to his dad's place.  Why didn't he load it up?   How are they going to get all this stuff out of here by the end of the month?

My conclusion:   Illusion makes sense.  Reality is insane.  In the world of illusion what appears sane is insane and what appears insane is sane.

It is so hard to observe and accept everything the way it is.  I want to meddle and know what's going on, but I won't because I am not going to repeat this experience.  So I am going to allow it to be the way it is.  I feel insane right now.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.

I have to get smaller.  I can't look at this with an agenda.  I can't give it the label 'moving'.  Moving is made up of many moments.  I can't decide what's going to happen in the next moment, nor what it should look like.  I have to allow the moment to show me what's supposed to happen.

   

Moving forward

That anything is moving is only an illusion.  When it appears that you are moving forward its your minds interpretation that there is an outside.  There is only inside. 

We never move forward, we only move inward.

Ripples don't move outward, they move up and down.  It only appears that they are moving outward.

Nothing is as it appears.

Life is standing still and you don't want to stand still because than you have to feel hell and discomfort, than you have to start noticing things that you don't want to notice.  So you use force to keep things moving.

  

The more energy we expend to keep things going the further out from our centers we are.

When we're operating so far off from our real selves the faster and harder we have to work. The closer I move to the center of who I am, to love and acceptance, the less effort I have to expend and the more I'm going to enjoy the ride: I might actually notice that everything is taken care off without my doing and I can engage with other people without wanting something from them.  I can notice the sky, the trees.  The scary part is letting go.

Everything is illusion and you hold on to it because you think you need it to survive.

Mind fields

Every day you navigate through the mine field of your mind.  You fight with reality because you want it your way.  If you could accept what shows up there would be no problem.  The mind resists everything.

We are taught the more we use our minds the smarter we are.  So we use our minds to get what we want.  We never get what we want.  You have to let go of everything.  The universe won't be manipulated.  Things change, but you are not the one who changes them.

There is only energy, that's all there is.  Everything else is a story.  When your mind is in charge you will listen to those stories.  The mind creates illusion, that's all its capable off.  You can stop the dream any time you want to.

 

In the new energy nothing shows up before its needed.

Infinite Posssibilities

In the new energy things work differently, we are becoming flexible.  Things get decided at the moment and not the moment before.  The biggest mistake is assuming things.  In each moment the universe renews itself zillions of times and we put our lives together as close as possible to the moment before.

We have infinite possibilities available and we reduce them by setting up routines so that we have the illusion of control in our lives.   We limit our possibilities by blaming the government, lack of money, circumstances, people.   You are the ones limiting your possibilities, it's never them.

What possibilities are available to me today that I don't see because my patterns have me reaching for the same things, because I don't wait for what shows up naturally.  As long as you belief that your possibilities can be limited you are tied into the system of illusion.

The new body language

Shut up

The mind is addicted to meddling.  It can't leave the moment alone, it can't accept things the way they are, pure, effortless energy.

You have already planned what you are going to do today, tomorrow, next week, and when it doesn't go as planned you have a story about it.   You are always making up stories about your life so that you don't notice that you have no control over anything. 

Relax your body and breathe.  Let the body decide whats next.  Never let the mind tell the body what to do.  Decisions are made somewhere else and our bodies execute them.  Our minds don't have any input, they just think they do.  Breathe into each moment.  You will end up doing less and accomplish more.  The body knows where to go and what to do.  Listening to the body is scary if you are not used to it.

Your life takes painstaking effort.  The simplest decisions keep you stuck in your head and you beat yourself up over them:  'I should have done that differently.   I should have bought something else.  I should have done something else.  I should have been better prepared.'  Regrets keep you missing everything.  Life happens at lightning speed when left alone by the mind.  Your body will reach for things without you having to think about it.  Your body will take you places without you making arrangements.  Breathe into each moment and see what shows up.   What you can't let go off will trip you up.  

Control is an illusion.  Once you realize you have no control over anything life becomes easy.

The interpreter

My mind looks at my life and interprets it according to what it knows.  Right now my mind is saying: "This doesn't look good."

I have to be out of here by the end of the month and I still don't know where I am going.  Terror is the response to that.

By not knowing where I am going everything that has been stored in my cells is being released, all the insanity, all the illusions, all the fear-based patriarchal programming has to surface so that it can be transmuted.   6,000 years worth of stuff is showing up.

I don't know where I am going but my body knows.  My mind keeps telling me that I am not ready.  What does my mind know.  It has a preconceived idea of what my life is supposed to look like.  It can't possibly figure out what's next.  The body knows everything.  I am trusting my body over listening to my mind.