Observing vs. meddling

Life is like a board game.  When you meddle you get to repeat the experience.  When you observe you get to advance to the next phase.

I have been living at my ex's apartment for over 3 months.  He got married and is now living with his wife.  He is a hoarder and his stuff is still here.   We have to be out of here by the end of the month.

This is the strangest move ever.  My mind is flipping.   One more week left and they are not moving anything out of here.   Every room is filled with stuff.  My mind is expecting this to go a certain way but its not happening.  Their actions give me problems, but I won't meddle.  Now my mind is trying to figure out what's going on.  My son just left with an empty trailer to go to his dad's place.  Why didn't he load it up?   How are they going to get all this stuff out of here by the end of the month?

My conclusion:   Illusion makes sense.  Reality is insane.  In the world of illusion what appears sane is insane and what appears insane is sane.

It is so hard to observe and accept everything the way it is.  I want to meddle and know what's going on, but I won't because I am not going to repeat this experience.  So I am going to allow it to be the way it is.  I feel insane right now.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.

I have to get smaller.  I can't look at this with an agenda.  I can't give it the label 'moving'.  Moving is made up of many moments.  I can't decide what's going to happen in the next moment, nor what it should look like.  I have to allow the moment to show me what's supposed to happen.

   

Wild Horses

People are acting on their fears instead of observing.  They are driven by their minds.  They don't understand that you have to let go of everything continually, never holding onto anything.  But they keep holding on so that the next moment will look the same as the moment before and that the future will turn out the way they planned.

My mind is like a wild horse throwing off everything that was put on me by the people at my job.  I joined their world of illusion because they cannot comprehend my world for it is inaccessible to the mind.  I became one of them.   And now I am free again.  I quit my sales job.  

I was there 4 weeks and already the managers had visions that I was going to make them wealthy.  Their minds were projecting a future that included me and all the sales I was going to make for them.  That's what happens when you aren't present, their minds filled in the blanks with a future that doesn't exist.  And now it's up to me to explain to them why I am leaving such a bright future behind.  They won't be able to comprehend what I have to say, because if they could their lives would reflect that.

It's time to move on.