Sustenance enters where there is space

To transmute the heavy energies of the patriarchy they have to be felt, and they feel horrendous, enough to want to run from them.  All of the collective memories have to be released from the cells.

These energies feel like mental attacks, extreme fear where literally every cell in the body shakes as to vibrate them loose so that they can transmute into the light.

These attacks feel real and I want to find patriarchal solutions.  For instance, survival issues are still very strong energies keeping this planet captive.  I want to bail myself out and solve it the patriarchal way by getting a job or applying for food stamps, instead I have to wait for the universe to rescue me, and she decides how and when this is going to happen.  I have to sweat it out and sit with these energies, there is no escaping them.

We got lost in the dream.  We are energy, not biology.

The Tao Te Ching

Practice non-doing and everything will fall into place.  (3)

Therefore the master takes action by letting things take their course. (64)

Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself? (15)

Less and less do you need to force things until finally you arrive at non-action. (48)

That which has no substance enters where there is no space.  This shows the value of non-action. (43).

The silent observer

I just want to get off the planet.  I understand that we need to lose our minds but how much can one take and how much longer is this going to go on?  The masses haven't even started to wake up.

When perceived problems arise it is easy to fall back to the patriarchal ways of solving them because that's all the mind knows.  The new way of solving problems is to be the silent observer.  That way the problem can dissolve into pure energy.

Things seem to get tougher because the old ways are not working anymore and the new isn't visible but I am already behaving as if I am living in the new world.  This causes great friction and I question my sanity more than ever.  Like Don Quixote with his grandiose imagination I live in a world of my own making, there are no guidelines but I know I can no longer follow the old.

As a silent observer everything is magnified and intense because the mind isn't there to keep me from experiencing it.  I am detached from everything like a stranger arriving on this planet and not fitting in anywhere.

Why I quit my job

The boss is telling me what to do.  

Her mind wants to direct my body to get things done.

Not even my mind gets to direct my body.

My body directs itself.  My body is always where its supposed to be.

My mind follows my body and not the other way around.

My body feels heavy when the mind is in charge.  It won't carry illusion.

I couldn't tell them the real reason for quitting my job because they don't understand this paradox:

Do nothing and accomplish everything.  (Tao Te Ching, translated by S. Mitchell).

Society still believes that working hard is the road to success, which creates a very small world, one in which they can be in control.  In their world of illusion it is insane to do nothing and therefore they would label me insane if they knew what is driving me.

In the world of illusion that which is sane appears insane and that which is insane appears sane.  On my road to sanity I see these things and I don't get sucked into living the patriarchal way.

The force in the world of illusion is ignorance, it will sweep you away.  The force of stillness carries great wisdom.

Attitude problem

 Just shove it up your ...

I can no longer function inside the illusion.  I am quite happy about that.  But what do I do with my sales job?  They still operate in the old patriarchal way and I don't fit into that anymore.   They can just shove it up their....

Now I get to live in the present moment and see what shows up in each moment, to not have an agenda even when the people around me have one.  Where I don't leave myself anymore just to please my boss.