Driven by the mind

When you lose your job your programming will have you look for another job because that's all your mind knows.  The mind will always reach for the same experiences.

I am being shown alternate realities so that deep-seated emotions can show up.  I am experiencing that I will live in Germany and never again return to the states.  Those thoughts horrify me and I have to allow them until all emotions have been released because the mind's programming can never be in charge again, only my True Self can ever be in charge.

I should be comfortable with wherever my body is and whatever my body is doing.  But I am chok-full of emotions and my mind is like a run-away train and I keep being thrown under the train.  I have to release all of my conditioning, all my emotions.  

Nothing can be based on neediness.  I had to leave my children behind in the USA.  It seems like a very cruel joke but it is the road to freedom for all of us.  When I see my children again we will relate to each other on a completely new level.

Freedom, a.k.a. Leaving the tribe

When everybody wants a piece of you and you give it to them you keep the illusion alive.  We are whole and nobody needs us.

The mind is a prison.  The moment you use the mind other than for entertainment you are no longer free.  Live becomes a complicated web and now you have to keep track of it.

Education and freedom don't go together.

If you do what you want you are still not free because you are patterned, you have been told what you are supposed to want.  

We have to leave the illusion.

Things are getting stranger and its happening faster.  I still do the same things but I feel like I am in a different dimension.  Every day I go through tremendous shifts. When I ask for direction I always get the same response: "Be still, do nothing."  By doing nothing I don't bring old energies into my space.  Everything is moving at tremendous speed.  The moment I do something I slow it all down.  So I keep my activities to a minimum.

Being true to myself in the world of illusion

Can I be free each moment where I don't sell myself or carry anything, where I don't have an agenda no matter what?  

The mind always intervenes and comes up with a story where we either love the moment or hate it depending on the story.  

When there is no story the truth can be revealed and my behavior will change.  People will pull me into their illusions if I let them.  They will squeeze me into their iron mold where I suffocate.  They have expectations of me and I am supposed to live up to them.  I can't and won't do it anymore. 

Can I live in the world of illusion and still be my true Self? 

Yes, I can.

I will never be a man again

You are beneath me

My part-time sales job has got to go.  I want my freedom back.  Living inside the patriarchy where I am expected to abandon myself is abusive.  My female body can't take this kind of abuse.

The patriarchy rapes everything in its path including the earth.  That's why the disaster in Japan is happening to show mankind that nuclear power is not safe.  There are alternatives.

I spent years transcending the western mind and now I am expected to function in it again, its not happening.  I will never be a man again.  That's the lot of women in this society, we aren't allowed to be women. That's why women have become men. The feminine has been eradicated, but is on her way back.  The divine feminine and divine masculine are healing this planet.

My Soul is wild and free

As children we get rewarded (retarded) for good behavior by our parents and in school.  We take this reward system with us into adulthood. 

We tell the universe I am doing a, b and c and now you owe me big time because I have been a good girl/boy.  

We can't manipulate the universe.  The universe operates by her own rules. Get comfortable in this present moment because that’s all we have. 

What works one moment won’t work the next.  The truth in one moment is an untruth in the next because the universe is not stale, it is incredibly flexible. Change is all there is.