Chaos

The universe is massive  chaos.  The mind wants order.  That's where the conflict is.  The mind can't deal with chaos.  That's why you need your body to do the work.  The body knows everything, the mind knows nothing.  Let your body carry what your mind can't.

One of our roommates died 2 days ago of drug overdose.  That's why I felt so horrible the day before.  My body was preparing me to deal with the sheriff, the ambulance, the parents and everyone else involved in this.

When I feel horrible I feel the emotion I am having to the end degree.  I go all the way down with it until it turns on its own and than I rise effortlessly to the top. 

If I interrupt it on the way down than I can only go up as high as I went low.  But when I go to the bottom of the low I will rise to the top of the high.  

If I interrupt my emotional down spiral than there are still blocks that haven't been touched; and I need to touch every blackness there is, root it out of my system so that there aren't any blocks.  Any darkness left is a block that will get me later.  

I do a clean sweep by not interrupting the emotions I am having.  When I allow it to turn on its own the upside will show up effortlessly, like being carried up in an elevator.

People interrupt their emotional down spiral with drugs, alcohol, activities, etc. because they think there is something wrong with them, that they need to feel up all the time.  You can't have one without the other.  Get used to the hellish downside.