Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.

I am having a great fall.  My social conditioning and mental structures are unraveling, falling like the walls of Jericho and I don't know how I am going to be put together again once I come out of this breakdown phase. 

I had no idea how much my mind is still wanting structure.  There are no triggers for the mind to grab on to.  The house is bare and there is nothing to do, but there is balance.  During the day I get to explore the area and at night I fall apart and go through withdrawal symptoms. 

The conditioning of the mind is like an addiction and as with all addictions you experience withdrawal symptoms in order to be free from it. 

Mental addiction is highly idolized by our society, but the patriarchal mind is on its way out.  People are going to go mad when that happens.  It's going to be quite a shocker.

Energetic cleanup of money issues

Setting the Goddess free

I am due 6 years of alimony payments. I have to let go of all that money.  After all, money is the biggest illusion there is.

There is so much charge around money and by feeling the massive energies I transmute the problem.  It always shows up at night where I can't scream at the people I am angry with.  I can't physically act on it and have no choice but to feel everything.  This clears the energetic hooks so that no one can hang anything on those hooks.  I will be hook-free. 

Problems are being solved without me having to do anything except transmute the energies. 

It's a dog's life

Dogs get trained with a zapper to not leave the yard.  You are not leaving the yard either.  Staying in the yard gets boring once you know everything about the yard.

The mind doesn't want to leave the yard, it wants to go to the same places, pissing on the same things, marking its territory and defending it.

Nothing is working when you have an energetic mess.  You have to clean up your life energetically not mentally.  Everything works smoothly when there are no energetic blocks.

Cleaning up your life energetically means feeling every nook and cranny.  My definition of feelings and emotions is this.  An emotion is an energetic makeup of a block in your system, which zaps your energy.  A feeling is a free-flowing system without any blockages, which enlivens you.

Emotions drain you, feelings wake you up.

Your world belongs to your mind

Your mind brutally drags you to be slaughtered day by day.  What kind of power is this for the mind to have you in its grip, to keep you living in torment? 

When I go out with people and listen to their conversations, the hell that goes on in their minds.  They belief that the illusion of the matrix is real and that they have to take every precaution to keep them safe. 

The matrix is a nightmare from which you can snap out of.  You will not die, you will live!!  The matrix keeps you dead. 

Civilized Schizophrenia

You can't just show up, you have to come with an arsenal of baggage, which makes you a blabbering mask always talking about what you should do, what you haven't done, what you are going to do.  Your mind is like a 2-year-old out of control in the driver's seat of your life because that is the extend of the competence of the mind.  Ditch your mind.  You don't need it to survive.

The house is bare, the cupboards are empty, the fridge isn't working, I love the simplicity.  I am stuck in the house without internet, no TV, far away from any store.

The mind needs a cupboard full of stuff.  The mind needs to be stuffed with stuff.  The body only needs what shows up, but the mind wants more.

Life is a roaring rapids



The rapids of  life

Tomorrow I am going to the mountains to live there.  I have no idea how this is going to unfold because there are so many details that it is mind boggling.  There is no furniture, I don't know where I am going to sleep, if there is even heat or if I need to go to the electric company and have it turned on.  I let it unfold all by itself because each moment is a portal to all I need. 

My life looks like a roaring rapids with energy swirling all around me.  I perceive so much more, now that I have learned to trust the universe.  At a deep level we know everything and now this deep level is becoming visible to me where I know how things are connected.  There are no random events. The energies of the future are always reaching me to prepare me for what is to come.  This moment prepares me for the next.

The 'What if' Game

The body doesn't need the mind to tell it what to do.  That is the arrogance of the mind, to think that it is needed to get anything done.  Life is much smoother without the mind's interference.  The body always knows what to do, the mind often overrides it. 

My mind has less and less input in my life.  I haven't seen nor talked to my son since October 31st.  We are moving to the mountains and he is supposed to arrange everything.  I can't call him to find out what is going on because he doesn't know what he is going to do until he does it.   

People want to control the outcome, so they plan every detail and than they have stories why it didn't happen the way they planned.  Their minds keep them from noticing that they are not in charge of anything.

When I use my mind I can't be here in this present moment absorbing all its beauty, ease and abundance.  Putting the mind in charge is like a shock to the otherwise smooth running system.

When the mind doesn't know what is going on it will play the 'What if' game.  "What if we don't move to the mountains, I am stuck here forever"  "What if he changed his mind."  "What if he doesn't want me to live with him."  I don't have to worry about any of these 'what if's' because my life is perfectly set up and there are never any emergencies to attend to.  Submitting to this moment is all the power I have over anything.

The mind has no power

I am moving to the mountains in a week or two with my son.  The mind always has you do more steps than what is necessary.  I am preparing for the move by being still and being fully here.  I have no winter clothing and I am not dashing off to the store buying what I think I might need. 

My son is in Delaware at the world championship and when he comes back he will do what he will do.  I am not going to tell him what to do because his body doesn't respond to my mind.  His body doesn't even respond to his own mind.  The days where the mind is in charge are over.  The body always knows what to do and the mind has no clue.  The mind doesn't know what is next, it only thinks what might be next based on how it's always been. 

Our bodies will do the move while we are present in each moment.  The mental exhaustion of planning is exasperating. The mind cannot keep track of all the details.  My body takes me from moment to moment, like frames in a movie, I teleport from moment to moment without planning, because the universe does a perfect job putting all the details into place.