I am in Germany

München

My daughter (20) bought me a ticket to Munich, Germany from Charlotte, North Carolina.  She had a stand-by ticket for herself and managed to get on the same flight.

People are caught up in their dramas, their pain bodies dictate their lives and there is nothing I can do to snap them out of it.  Pain is all they know.  

Everyone of my relatives is at each others throat blaming the other for their misery.  My dad goes back eons of what happened back than and he won't let go.  I can't talk to him about anything without him getting upset, so I am quiet, even that upsets him.  

The tape in his head is repeating the same old ugly stories about the disappointment in his sons and life in general.  He can't be pleased because his mental body runs his life and the mind is the greatest hell hole there ever was.  The illusion it fabricates is inhumane.  The mind won't allow love, gentleness, beauty because it doesn't see it.

The universe will rescue me from this cruelty.  At this point I am kind of fed up with all the drama wherever I go.

Preparing

When we prepare we are responsible and when we don’t prepare we are procrastinating.  That's what gets drilled into us.  It isn't working that way anymore.  I can't prepare for anything and that makes me irresponsible according to society. 

The mind makes up problems that don’t exist and than solves them.  That’s how the mind keeps its existence.  

People are being played like a ping pong never noticing that they are at the mercy of their mind.   The mind says: “If you don’t do ‘this’ now, you wont have ‘that’ later,” and people listen.   Getting away from that philosophy seems like murder.  I find when I prepare I end up having to redo everything.  So I learned to pay attention to the moment and that prepares me for whatever shows up down the road.  This moment prepares me for the next.

The transition has not been easy.  The mental body puts so much angst into me....what if.  Trust comes with awareness and experience.