Friday, February 1, 2013

The formless

Our little wagon that stores our furniture until we are ready to move on

We received a letter from the surgeon to pay $800 up front to have my son's frontal skull bones put back in.  Failure to do so could result in the surgery being cancelled.  The medical term for this procedure is Autologous Cranioplasty - Bilateral.  I told them that we didn't have the money.  They will proceed with the surgery as scheduled at the end of February.

I no longer feel ashamed telling people that I don't have the money to pay for certain things.  All that stigma has dropped off my energy field.  Money issues no longer face me.  I don't feel like a pauper nor second class citizen. I am living off the crumbs of others, way below the poverty line.  My life is so simplified, I don't need much at all, no filling spaces with objects.  There is no fretting where I am going to live nor how my needs will be met.  I alone am enough.

I heard that the vibration of gratitude is higher than the vibration of Love.

I continue to lose identification with form.  At times this feels eerie.  Suffering comes from the attachment to form.  

Form is whatever the perceiver makes it.  The physical world is an illusion.  The perceiver looks at form through a filter, the conditioning.  This filter makes people incongruent, they say one thing and do another, the illusion we hold of ourselves.  They may accuse others of being wasteful when in reality they themselves are wasteful.  Whatever I accuse others of is in me.  Being present makes me congruent with who I really am, the formless essence of me.

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