Hell No

I am moving in with a friend I stayed with before leaving for Germany.  My mind can't comprehend this, but I know that the universe works with achingly beautiful perfection.  

Like cures like.  What makes you insane also makes you sane.  I am being given precise injections of other people's insanity.  Inside the Matrix everything is insane yet appears sane.  To lose the mind one has to keep going back to the same situations to be driven out of the mind until there is nothing left.

My next creation

I no longer know what it's like to think the way the mental matrix requires.  I wonder what I am creating next.  All my experiences have brought me to this place.  I am here to reconnect with my son at the level of wholeness, to let him have his life the way he wants it and not to meddle with it.

I don't know what's next and my mind can't bring it about.  So, how is this next step going to happen?  I know I don't have to do anything, I never have to do anything.  I have butterflies to see my next creation showing up.  

A Reckless Life

Grand Canyon, Nevada

The universe will not support us inside the Mental Matrix.  People struggle, I see them struggling because they don't wait for what shows up naturally.   People want a mind-based future so that they can be in control of what they are getting.  It doesn't work that way anymore.

'Being in the moment' is an overused mental concept.  'Being' has no mind.

Things change in an instant, but until they change and nothing seems to be happening doubts and fears show up to be released.  Until the change comes is the time where the mind dumps its conditioning and is the most miserable.

The landlady is trying to get me to apply for a job where she works.  My life scares people, it's scaring me too, I live reckless, never knowing what is next, never preparing for anything.  I spend all day sitting on benches and playing sudoku, it keeps my mind occupied while I wait for the universe to do her work.  Jesus had no place to lay his head and I am getting there.  I have a place to sleep, but I leave in the morning, returning in the evening.  I can't spend much time around illusionists.

I draw on direct personal experience.  Conceptual knowing is disappearing.  Stillness of pure consciousness is my nature.  The mind always wants to analyze but the mind can't get it.  It knows nothing.  My existence depends on stillness and not on the Mental Matrix.

The Mental Matrix

Red Pill, Blue Pill

Tyler Perry's 'Visionaries: The Creative Mind' is just another lie of the Matrix.  He succeeded because of his mind, that's the story he tags on to his success. You cannot not do what you are doing.  His mind has nothing to do with his success.  Use your mind and you will get anything you desire.  I once believed that myself.

Stillness is the creative power.  Stillness seems irresponsible, leaving things up to fate.  The mind will heavily argue that you need your mind to solve problems and to succeed, and it will win that argument.  Inside the Matrix the mind is God. 

I was informed by the landlady that I have to be gone by the end of the month.  Now I'll just wait for the portal to open that gets me to the next place.

The chaotic mind

I am staying with my 18 year old son who moved into a house last month, rent free until January.  His girlfriend is telling me that they are engaged.  I am about to roll over on the floor with laughter.  I let her have her illusion, I don't interfere nor intrude. They will never get married because the universe won't allow it.

So his girlfriend and landlady are going through the house making plans on what needs to be fixed:  all windows replaced, all new floors, new paint, and much more.  

Presently my son is working 7 days a week leaving at 5 AM, returning at 7 PM.  That way those 2 bean bags can't impose on his life because people who live in an illusionary world only create chaos and use other people.  I am staying out of their sight as well, allowing the universe to work its magic.

What people say and what people do is incongruent.  The body is always in the present moment but the conditioned mind can't handle stillness, so it fabricates a future.

The pyramids built themselves because no one ever works, it's an illusion.  Things move by themselves when they are supposed to.  The mind doesn't create anything.

I don't listen to what people say because they make up stories by which they identify themselves with and which they take seriously.  They don't know the difference between reality and illusion.

Back to where I left

I had to spend the night at the airport in Munich.  Because of the Octoberfest and conventions in town, there were no vacancies nearby.  When I arrived in Charlotte I hadn't slept in 3 days.

Before I left for Germany I felt that I would be living with my son when I return to the US.  I thought that it was wishful thinking because he is only 18 years with no steady income and was living with his dad, so I disregarded that possibility.  Just one month ago he rented a house, no lease and no rent until January.

So, here I am again, at the same spot where I left.  I am livid.