I just had one of those out of this world glimpses.
In the past I have used some supplements and certain foods to assist my body in this relentless process of housing more light. Nothing really worked, but it gave me something to do.
Just now as I walked into the kitchen, drinking some water which tasted really horrible, looking at all the jars of fermented foods, I saw myself walking away from it all, leaving it behind, just grabbing a bag with my belongings and going on a journey to a new world, never coming back. It's too much effort, living the way I have been living. Its so old and I can't do it anymore.
My mind instantaneously had concerns. Its trying to make sense of it, trying to figure out what its going to look like, my new life, because the mind always needs to replace something with something, it can't just be in the void and wait and see what develops.
Now my curiosity is being quipped. Something new has to show up because I am so dead and so done with the old.
Maybe this is the year where I get to walk away from the old for good. No more waiting.