Because that's how we grow exponentially. When we add the experiences of the past to the experiences of the present we take a leap. That's the Fibonacci code.
I had to go back because its familiar. You can't go deeper unless you are in a familiar place. Plus it confuses the mind because it didn't expect that. The mind expected something totally different, something new.
Going back grounds us, otherwise we leave the earth and don't come back for a very long time or never like some gurus sitting somewhere on the mountain top living in their own world unable to relate.
By going back I am releasing the illusion. Now I have to deal with illusion without escaping it. I am transmuting it. I have transmuted illusion all along, but there are some things that can only be transmuted by being where I am now.
Any deep transformation needs a physical outlet. That's why I am very busy taking care of my son so that I won't go off the deep end as I have the tendency to do so.
As far as my twinflame. I keep hearing: 'Its not going to be the way you think.' Again, this is something that can't be figured out. We may never be together in the physical. I don't know.