Shedding more skin

I am beyond exhausted and tired.  It's all part of the process, shedding our skin.  Its the year of the snake after all.

This morning I had a tiny glimmering of life within me.  I've been dead for so long, dying more every day.  This glimpse of reality will keep me going for a while.

The metamorphosis isn't nearly over.  But I had a tiny glimpse of how incredible its going to be when I come out of it.

Right now it doesn't feel good, running on empty all the time so that I won't start anything new.  It makes it easier letting go of literally everything.  Its such a deep process.  Dying isn't easy.

I can go deeper now because I know I will be safe.

A leap into the present moment

An incredible leap took place this morning.  My brain entrained at a much higher level, found new pathways, which means I am more congruent with my body, more aligned with the present moment.

Running from the present moment is now too much effort.  Its a wonderful state.   And it happened all on its own.  This causes changes in behavior and the way I go about life.  The feeling of well being is present much more often.

In recent days I have been over the top angry, rage in fact.  You can only go as high as you can go low.  Experiencing rage brought deep peace and contentment.

Are we there yet?

The energies are so new and indescribable, yet still unbearable at times.

I am being refined.  It actually feels good.   There is something new happening on this planet.

I don't get to take anything with me, not even my closest friend.   We parted ways and when we reconnect it will be in a brand new world.   

I feel a newness that's going to stick around.

Why I had to go back to where I started

Because that's how we grow exponentially.  When we add the experiences of the past to the experiences of the present we take a leap.   That's the Fibonacci code.

I had to go back because its familiar.    You can't go deeper unless you are in a familiar place.  Plus it confuses the mind because it didn't expect that.  The mind expected something totally different, something new.

Going back grounds us, otherwise we leave the earth and don't come back for a very long time or never like some gurus sitting somewhere on the mountain top living in their own world unable to relate.

By going back I am releasing the illusion.   Now I have to deal with illusion without escaping it.  I am transmuting it.  I have transmuted illusion all along, but there are some things that can only be transmuted by being where I am now.

Any deep transformation needs a physical outlet.  That's why I am very busy taking care of my son so that I won't go off the deep end as I have the tendency to do so.

As far as my twinflame.  I keep hearing:  'Its not going to be the way you think.'   Again, this is something that can't be figured out.  We may never be together in the physical.  I don't know.

Illusion requires maintenance

Everything is illusion.  We are the creators of our experiences.  My life hasn't changed.  I thought when I leave illusion behind there will be a drastic change, that I will live in paradise.  Instead I am carrying water, chopping wood, without a story.  My life is ordinary.

My life has always been ordinary except my stories made it interesting, hoping for the future to save me and fulfill me. I am waking up to the activities I have always done.  I am not suddenly becoming a different person.  I am still the same, only now I notice me.

Technically we are always present.  The mind takes us away from presence.  We are not our minds.

The mind needs excitement and purpose and builds illusion like crazy.  Its all made up.

Only this moment is real.

All decisions are made in the present moment.

All feelings are felt in the present moment.

All actions are taken in the present moment.

What happens when people wake up and no longer play a role. Marriages were kept together because both shared the same illusions and called it love.  But everything is falling apart.

The energies have been speeding up drastically.  I can't think straight.

I don't know whats going on, but it feels good.  It feels like something big is happening at a very deep level.  A wonderful, sweet transformation.

If we get what we want we will go deeper into the illusion.

I didn't get what I expected.  The mind always makes up its own version of what life should be or should become.

Reality is:  I am back where I started.  Reality is: I am doing what I am doing.

There is a big movement going on: Ascension.  Its another illusion.  Its something they are fabricating in their heads to escape reality, always looking to the future for a better life.  Tomorrow is another illusion.

Reality is: We are where we are.

True, there is something bigger going on.  But our minds aren't in charge of it.  We aren't doing it, we are being done.

Git'r done.

Reality is:  Nobody knows what's going on.