Driven by the mind

When you lose your job your programming will have you look for another job because that's all your mind knows.  The mind will always reach for the same experiences.

I am being shown alternate realities so that deep-seated emotions can show up.  I am experiencing that I will live in Germany and never again return to the states.  Those thoughts horrify me and I have to allow them until all emotions have been released because the mind's programming can never be in charge again, only my True Self can ever be in charge.

I should be comfortable with wherever my body is and whatever my body is doing.  But I am chok-full of emotions and my mind is like a run-away train and I keep being thrown under the train.  I have to release all of my conditioning, all my emotions.  

Nothing can be based on neediness.  I had to leave my children behind in the USA.  It seems like a very cruel joke but it is the road to freedom for all of us.  When I see my children again we will relate to each other on a completely new level.

Labor of Love?

This isn't necessary

The moment won't move, so you move your mind because you hate the stillness; like a boulder up a steep hill, you push and push and you wonder why you are exhausted.  You blame your exhaustion on your life circumstances, on your age, on all the things that need to get done.  Everything is done.  Everything is whole but your mental illness won't let you see it.  

You keep taking things apart so you can fix them.  Everything is whole, everything is done.  Don't let your mind pull you into the world of illusion.

No beautiful mind

A beautiful mind - the movie

A beautiful mind is a still mind. 

The mind doesn't want this. The mind doesn't want your life.  The mind wants illusion.  The mind wants the known.  The mind has an emergency exit called illusion.  The mind can't cope with reality.  It is forever looking for something it can recognize. 

Reality is unrecognizable to the mind.  We need to lose our minds completely. 

Action happens without the mind's involvement, but people don't notice this.  They belief that without thought nothing happens.  Thought is far removed from who we really are. In the world of illusion it appears as if the mind is the cause for anything to function.  The mind has no function, it keeps you from reality.

My dad sits in his wheel chair all day long and fabricates illusions and wants his children to participate in them.  We of course can't because our bodies won't allow it because reality will not support needy relationships.  He is dissatisfied with his life and blames everyone else for it.  Bitterness arises when you don't know the difference between illusion and reality.  

The body is always in the present moment while the mind rips everything to pieces.  My relatives want me to visit them.  They put the burden on me to come and see them.  My body is not bringing me to them. They don't see that they are the ones who have to change, not me.  My life does not belong to my mind nor theirs.  My life belongs to my body, the universe made flesh.

Dogs in Heat

No need to carry anything

People hate reality.  They are always escaping reality because they don't want to clean up their own fucking shit, because reality will show you what you need to do to become whole, but instead you run from reality so that you can blame everybody else for your asinine existence.  Looking at your own dysfunction isn't pretty.  It's easier to make others responsible for the mess in your life.

I have been living with my dad at his retirement home for the past 3 weeks.  He can't handle my stillness.  He expects me to act like a dog in heat, talking all the time, moving my body unnecessarily in excitement.  It is bringing out his dysfunction, blaming me for it.  He has been attacking me relentlessly.

People get upset every few seconds and whatever is in their awareness at that moment gets blamed for it. 

There is only one upset, the loss of the present.