Just yesterday for a split moment I questioned my sanity, survival issues crept up. The fear and terror I felt. Its one of those moments when I thought 'when will this ever end.' And then I decided I wasn't going to listen to my mind anymore. The mind will always have its bleak commentary and I am shutting it off. No More of this nonsense.
I have been waiting for my mind to transcend, but that doesn't seem to happen. I have to make the conscious choice and not listen to it ever again. And with that I won't let it take me down its dark corridors. I will lure it out into the light.
I have been living in darkness on my way out of the matrix for almost 2 decades and now I am in a new internal landscape. My journey has just began. There is a tree that develops its roots for 8 years and than suddenly grows exponentially. And that's what's happening with me. I am coming to life. When I was under ground I didn't see anything and now as I am emerging I see EVERYTHING.
It's imperative not to have an agenda. Any agenda puts me right back into the old. The new is created out of nothingness, stillness.
I manifested free lunch the other day and thought: 'Why don't I do this more often.' The answer came immediately: 'Because of the ego.' I am not quite out of the woods with my ego. If I would manifest things more often it could get to my head.
I kept waiting for big changes in my external landscape, but it didn't happen. I am still around the same people. Only by now they seem to be fed up with my lifestyle, wanting me to get a job. What else can you expect coming from their dysfunctional matrix minds. I brush it off and laugh.
I bought eggs from a local farmer. He asked if I work. I said 'No.' He said: 'Some people have got it made.' I thought: 'Its not my fault when your mind is beating the shit out of you.' Do you know how alien it feels being around these people? They are so persistent in their illusions and insist I join them. That's not going to happen.
Observation creates the entire universe. Atoms are spread out all over the place until a conscious observer looks at it. There is no locality, there are no objects, there are only relationships. Scientists confirm that reality is an illusion. Illusions come from within the mind. We cannot grasp that which is beyond with our limited perception. The only realities we know are the ones our brain manufactures. The brain receives millions of signals and we organize them and project them outside ourselves and call it reality.