This too shall pass, but when?

My live doesn't make any sense.  I have lost everything again.  I usually do before I begin anew.  I don't know how long this transition is going to take.  I have to be very gentle with myself and allow it.  Nothing is comforting me.  That shows me that I am still attached to outside influences.  I want out so badly, but  I have to endure.

Every experience creates new pathways in the mind.  The mind is inflexible due to conditioning.  My life is always changing and my mind has to constantly adjust and since I don't know where all of this is headed my mind always fills in the blanks with horror stories.  Only my inner guidance will get me through this.  

Preparing

When we prepare we are responsible and when we don’t prepare we are procrastinating.  That's what gets drilled into us.  It isn't working that way anymore.  I can't prepare for anything and that makes me irresponsible according to society. 

The mind makes up problems that don’t exist and than solves them.  That’s how the mind keeps its existence.  

People are being played like a ping pong never noticing that they are at the mercy of their mind.   The mind says: “If you don’t do ‘this’ now, you wont have ‘that’ later,” and people listen.   Getting away from that philosophy seems like murder.  I find when I prepare I end up having to redo everything.  So I learned to pay attention to the moment and that prepares me for whatever shows up down the road.  This moment prepares me for the next.

The transition has not been easy.  The mental body puts so much angst into me....what if.  Trust comes with awareness and experience.