Monday, October 29, 2012

Living with Intelligence

Presence never exerts effort, never resists anything.

Kittens exposed to only horizontal lines made no response to a rod moving vertically; kittens raised in the vertical-only environment had no response to a rod moving horizontally. Both sets of kittens were essentially “blind” to that which they had never seen before.

In general people are raised with one orientation, it's called survival.  Someone loses their job and immediately they panic.  Everything is geared to earning a living and being important.  They cannot perceive anything else, which makes them dump.

Intelligence can only flow through me when I am in the present moment.  An agenda is the greatest limitation I can put on this moment.

I am being opened up to perceive more by being around people who are obsessed with their minds, making the most ridiculous important, pushing me over the edge into my body.  There is no outside.  Everything originates from the inside.  I was still too much on the outside.  This new situation has been an incredible teacher.

My dormant ego is showing up at every turn.  I had no idea I still had that much ego left in me.

I have created this situation.  When there is no more emotional disturbance in my subconscious I will be able to express myself fully.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Limitations are the death to the ego

My mind has to find new pathways to function in this overload of insanity.   The mind is in a loop and when something new happens it has to leave the loop in order to deal with the new.   My ego wants to quit, move away, it can't handle the new limitations that came my way.  Limitations are the death to the ego.

The new energy has no solid ground.  It's like quicksand.  What is true one moment is gone the next.  It will never turn into a pattern so that there is nothing for the mind to hold on to.

My definition for abundance:  This moment is different from the moment before.  There is no pattern.  If there is a pattern that means that it is a repeat and therefore it lacks newness, it lacks the creation of something new. 

This moment cannot be otherwise.  Presence never exerts effort, never resists anything.  The witness accepts this moment fully.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The old ways no longer work

The map is not the terrain.  She put him on a budget to figure out how to get the rest of the down payment for the house.  That's the old way of doing things and it doesn't work that way anymore. Money shows up when you need it and not a moment before. 

Life is really super easy.  But then comes along the dysfunctional tape in the head that always comments on the present moment making you feel guilty about what you are doing or telling you what you should be doing, always planning something.

I left the house feeling badly about leaving her with the baby.  I snapped myself back into the present moment by asking myself:  Where is your body?  My body is sitting in the driver’s seat and my mind was playing the tape that I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing, that I should go back into the house discussing with her the agenda of the day, finding out what she has planned, because that’s how it’s done in the dysfunctional world.   

But when you are whole you just do what you do.  You are in the present moment and there is no past nor future.   For now I am typing this until I don’t.  I do what I do until I don't.

When my mind wants to take over and hurry me along I always look at where my body is because my body is always in the present moment doing what I am supposed to be doing, relaxing into it, breathing fully.

I have noticed that my mind is constantly planning an escape.  I want to escape from the limitations of the new situation. I have to stop this insanity of my mind that won't allow me to be in the present moment of joy and ease.

This moment cannot be otherwise.  Presence never exerts effort, never resists anything.  The witness accepts this moment fully.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Vortex of Senselessness

My son's 18 year old ex-girlfriend and her 2 months old baby boy are now living with us.  My son met her when she was pregnant.  Her dad, the minister, kicked her out with nowhere to go.  She asked my son if she could stay with us and he wasn't going to turn her out.  Her mother was in tears when she dropped her daughter off.  Her dad won't allow her back in the house to pick up the rest of her stuff.

On the surface this seems like a harsh situation, but she got a clean break from the old energy.  Her baby will not be raised in that environment.  Her dad is not the villain.  He turned his daughter loose to participate in the new world rather than being under his stale and old ideas of living.  The mother has to learn to let go of her daughter.  By not allowing her to pick up the rest of her belongings the daughter is learning to let go of things.  The daughter is very strong and handles the situation incredibly well.  She is glad to be out of there.

On top of that my son (19) bought a house last evening.  I had no idea he was doing that.  He traded a trailer and four wheeler as part of the down payment.  He is still short.  It's owner financed and the owner is working with my son on the payments.  My son didn't have the house inspected, I don't think he even knows that he has to pay taxes.

At this moment I know that this is the way its supposed to be.  We will be shown what to do as we go along.

In my situation my son is the masculine and I am the feminine.  The masculine manifests what the feminine creates.  My son is always manifesting too much for my mind to handle.  Things are happening so fast because the mind is not involved.  Nothing is being thought through.  We are being swept away in this vortex of senselessness.

I want to run away.  It's a FUCKING MESS.

This moment cannot be otherwise.  Presence never exerts effort, never resists anything.  The witness accepts this moment fully.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Vibration, not hard work, is the key

The message we communicate with another human has nothing to do with what we say but with the vibration we  emanate. 

For a moment I experienced over the top abundance and the bliss of wholeness, a little preview of what it's like, and than it was gone because there is still work to be done.  And by work I don't mean actual work, I mean observing what goes on within myself, becoming aware of all sensations in my body because awareness fixes everything.

All force is ignorance.  Nothing comes to me through hard work.  I attract everything of like vibration.  All I have to do is raise my vibration, in other words, expand. 

Nobody has the power to be my master.  Nobody has power over me unless I give it to them.  In one area Wholeness does not depend on how much money I've got.  Not even the richest person can take away the space that belongs to me.  I don't have to pay for my space.  It's mine for FREE!!  And that's a bold thought to ponder.  Right now that thought is over my head, but the universe will draw experiences my way where this will become real.  It's part of being whole and I have already lived that way to some extend.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Consciousness Fixes Everything

Last night my son went to pick up his girlfriend to move in with us. He hooked up the trailer and off he went. He came back without her, they broke up.

You never know what's going to happen until it happens.  There is no pre-deciding what the next moment is going to look like.  You have no idea what's going to show up until it shows up.  People are together for a reason, for a season.  The mind wants a linear, fixed situation.  But the more we expand the faster things change.

Consciousness fixes things.  Energy comes before matter. Everything is energy.  Matter slows us down, energy speeds us up. The mind creates matter, the body creates energy.  When you listen to the mind you are very slow.  When you listen to the body you are everywhere.  Read your body, it will tell you everything.

The best bet is to follow the body.  The body always knows what is needed.  It will prepare you for the next moment.  If you use your mind to prepare for things you will always be amiss and busy.

No agenda, just the unadulterated present moment.  Any agenda comes from the Known, from something that we have already experienced.  The mind is always in the same loop, but the universe never repeats itself.

Let the energies take over and don't try to figure it out because it can't be figured out.

So, now I am in a new space.  A lot of adjustment is taking place.  I call this adjusting to the shock waves.  Every time there is an event the waves go out from that event creating ripples and they come back allowing the body to feel the sensations.  These sensations get integrated into the physical makeup allowing for a broader canvas.

Friday, October 12, 2012


When it's true once it can't be true again because than it becomes a pattern, a predictability, and that's not what the universe is.  ~Christine

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Perfect Shock

Julia Watkins 'The Firefly Tree'

Some people call it the perfect storm, I call it the perfect shock.

I am always amazed at how the universe prepares me for the perfect shock that shows up.  Suddenly there is this new thing that's over my head.  But all along I've been prepared for just that. And once you have entertained the new idea you can never go back and you know that that's the road to take.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Maneuvering around insane people

Someone is watching you.  They are certainly not watching over you.

The world of illusion is insane.  There is no doubt about it.  We have been dumbed down.  The universe will not support my illusions. That's why the universe kicked me out of the Matrix.  I no longer surrender to the expectations of others.

What do you do when the world around you belongs into an insane asylum?  In the world of illusion that which is sane appears insane and that which is insane appears sane.

I don't fit nor foot the bill.  I am supposed to do what now?  Live without freaking money?  I know the law of attraction.  But that's a feel-good agenda for the matrix people.  In my world that law doesn't exist.  I attract challenges so that I can expand.

I am expanding and with that comes maturity and bigger challenges. I have to trust myself, my instincts and gut feelings.  I can't let my mind get the best of me.  Nothing is as it seems but the mind will make things appear real.

As I am typing this my son informs me that his girlfriend is moving in on Sunday with her sweet baby.  Her parent's kicked her out.  I really have no control over what shows up in my life.  This time I didn’t throw a fit.  I just said fine, whatever.  Does arguing with the universe ever work?  This is a challenge that requires presence. Right now I feel insane.  

What makes you insane also makes you sane.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Out of Control

It feels good letting go of conditioning, not having to use my mind to prepare for anything, just playing with what shows up.

When staying in my center or in the present moment is impossible its easier to go out than to come in, meaning, that I go as far away from the present moment as possible, far away from my center.  If I can't stay centered I let it go.  That way my mind has the chance to rearrange itself, find new pathways, so that it can come back to my center on its own.

That's how wild horses get tamed.  They are roped in, then let go and so on until the horse is trained. 

The moment people let go of their minds their lives will escalate into something they don't want.  They will no longer have control over anything, which they don't anyway, they just haven't noticed yet.

The mind slows everything down to a screeching halt to make life manageable.  It wants you to attend to the chaotic mess by putting out fires instead of being the observer.  The higher we vibrate the more chaotic things become because you will feel the movements of the universe, the constant flux.

We really do have the easiest job: being present in each moment. But the mind interferes, wants to manipulate it into something other than what is.

There is only one upset, the loss of the present.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Mindless Way of Life

My mind is calling.  It wants me to take advantage of a half off sale of my favorite food.  I am not budging, I am not listening.  By the time I get to the store and back I will have wasted an hour on my conditioning.  Should I end up at the store I will have gotten there without my mind. 

The mind is full of agendas.  It's always planning, thinking, manipulating, reasoning.  

When you are patterned your mind will have you chase after your addictions:  shopping, hobbies, making a living, whatever ...

If you don't take full breaths than your mind has taken over.   Always stay fully relaxed in your body, fully relaxed in this moment, breathing.

I landed in my new world.  So far only the foundation is laid.  I am no longer in between. I was basking in this fullness for a while.  Then the contrasting energies showed up as they always do.  I was slapping my face, hitting my head and screaming;  I was almost overtaken by this contrast.  I can't even put in words how horrible it felt.  

You can only go as high as you can go low.  I had an incredible high, therefore I went the same distance into the opposite direction.   My main question was:  How am I going to live in the new world when I am surrounded by the old world?  I will be shown as I go along.

This is the mindless world.  Its not less mind, it's no mind at all.  The new world won't be created by the mind.